


You've got Time

by anri



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prison, M/M, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-07-12 01:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7078456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anri/pseuds/anri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima has seven years to fulfil in prison. He's not used to the situation, the area or the people.<br/>But what he didn't count on was falling in love in the most inconvenient environment possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do a prison au for a while but today I was just like "fuck it" so....good luck

He pulled white t-shirt on over his head, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows, and then he looked down at his arms, and decided they were better covered. The guard stood in the corner, watching him coldly. Tsukishima shivered despite himself, pulling the orange shirt over his head. The trousers were slightly too short on his long legs, and his ankles felt weirdly exposed. What was he going to expect though, of course nothing was going to fit properly. "Are you done?" the guard asked, and he turned around to look at him,

"I guess," he huffed. He walked over as the guard held the door open. Another guard looked down at him, he had large, muscular arms crossed over his chest. He grunted, nodding in the direction of the corridor. Tsukishima looked down at the floor as he felt the guard's hands on his shoulders. He was painfully aware of the weapons they wore. It was quiet for a while, as they passed barely used corridors and small rooms only inhabited by a few - the smudge of orange sticking out on the backgrounds. He saw a few other inmates pass him, felt their glares boring into him. He wasn't easily intimidated, but this- prison - was an entirely different situation. This was his first prison sentence, and he didn't know what to expect.

Things got a lot louder when they reached the main cell block. He felt like he was on display, and he felt the eyes of the others boring into him. He didn't want to look at them, he didn't care if that made him look weak, he didn't want to challenge these people. One prisoner was hanging on the bars of his cell, face pressed up close. "Hey new kid," he yelled, and Tsukishima looked up at him. The man was grinning, his silver hair brushed back from his face. He didn't look nasty, but Tsukishima recognised the tattoo on his face, the tear drop under his eye. He knew what that meant. Murder. "Get back, Sugawara," the muscular guard barked. Sugawara pouted, stepping back, "Iwaizumi, you're only fun with Oikawa, that's no fair." The guard didn't say anything, but he shoved Tsukishima forward.

His cell was at the end of the block by the wall. There was another man already sat in there on one of the beds. The door was unlocked, and Tsukishima was shoved in. With that, the door was locked, and the guards withdrew. Tsukishima looked at the man as he sat on his bed, and the man looked up at him, with dark blue eyes. "Kageyama," he said eventually.

"Tsukishima," he replied. There was another moment of silence, and then he sat himself down on the other bed. Kageyama was wearing a grey jumper, the sleeves rolled up. He didn't seem to be doing anything, other than just sitting there. He had a couple of books on the nightstand, pens and pencils. He seemed to have made himself at home. "Is this your first time?" he asked.

Tsukishima nodded slowly. Kageyama nodded himself, "Same with me. I'm only three months in."

"How long?"

Kageyama's mouth twitched, "Five years."

Tsukishima nodded, "Seven."

He wasn't expecting petty thieves in here. He knew that he was going to prison with serious offenders. He didn't ask what Kageyama did, and he didn't want to know. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. Kageyama reached for his sketchpad and pencils.

There was a bell for dinner, and guards were lining the hall, watching for any sudden moves. He saw Sugawara ahead of him, hands in his pockets as he walked carefree next to a dark haired man. He got his food, but he didn't really know where to sit. And in the end, since there were no free tables and the only person he really knew was Kageyama, he had to sit with him. Even if that was grouped with Sugawara. He felt people's eyes on him as he sat down, and he tried to ignore it. "Hi there, new guy," Sugawara chirped, smiling at him across the table, his teardrop crinkling under his eye as he smiled. "I'm Suga."

Tsukishima swallowed, giving his name quietly. "There's no need to be shy, we're all friends here." His tone was perfectly cheerful, and yet there was a dangerous edge to it. "Well, on this table anyway," the dark haired boy next to him added, and Suga laughed, "This is Daichi, my cellmate. And Kageyama's your cellmate, right?" He nodded, "Well, other than us, we have Kenma in the corner, Tanaka, Lev, Yaku and Aone. We also include Oikawa and Matsu in our headcount, even if they don't sit with us," Suga indicated behind him, to two dark haired boys who sat across from each other silently. The muscular guard who'd pushed him in earlier was standing close to them. There were so many other people in the hall, but he seemed to disregard all of them except for those in his personal group. Tsukishima guessed he was stuck there now, whether he liked it or not. Suga smiled, welcoming him into the conversations, simply laughing it off when he told him to fuck off. He took it in his stride, and in his natural happiness and refreshing personality, he seemed so out of place in prison. And yet that tattoo on his cheek confirmed to Tsukishima that he was not to be messed with.

 

He asked Kageyama quietly, as they were laying in their beds. "Oh yeah, everyone's afraid of Sugawara, a little bit," he muttered. "You know what that tattoo means right...?"

"Yeah."

"He's been in here for a while. I don't know how long he's been here for sure, but it's been ages. And Daichi, too. Daichi, Oikawa and Sugawara have been in here longer than most," Kageyama's bedding rustled as he turned over in bed, facing the wall, signalling the end of the conversation. Tsukishima stared at the ceiling. He could hear things. People talking and laughing, echoes from down the hallways, everywhere around him the prison was alive. He shut his eyes, trying to tune it all out. He had to get used to this. He had seven more years of this.

_One day down, two thousand five hundred and fifty four to go._

He shut his eyes, pulling the covers up, rolling onto his side. When he finally rocked himself to sleep in the early hours of the morning, he saw nothing but red-orange flames ripping across the sky, the heat burning, the pain, the regret the...fear. He heard yelling and shouting and he saw the sirens, the sirens coming for him even thought it wasn't...he _never meant_ -

He woke in a cool sweat as the guards came down the hall, yelling to wake up. He heard Kageyama stir next to him, and he sat up slowly in bed, reaching for his glasses.

He'd never been particularly confident with his own skinny frame, and he certainly didn't feel comfortable being nude around others, so the bathroom definitely came as a shock. Other inmates were readily pulling their clothing off, dumping it as they entered the showers. There were naked men walking around, and everyone seemed completely used to it. Tsukishima saw a few other shocked faces, and he assumed they must have been new as well. Oikawa and Sugawara seemed to be making the loudest fuss, cheering, laughing and joking with each other as they were in the shower. He saw others roll their eyes, but no one said anything.  He guessed that was normal here, too. Kageyama seemed to be on kitchen duty, so he didn't see him again before breakfast, which consequently meant he was on his own in the yard. It wasn't really a yard - it was just a lot of gravel and some benches. There was a court at one end, but hardly anyone was on it. He stood in the corner of the yard, close to the wall. After a while, of standing on his own, he saw someone coming up next to him, with one glance he realised it was Sugawara. Shit. He held up a box of cigarettes, shaking them at Tsukishima. "Want one?"

Tsukishima's eyes were drawn to the lighter in his hand. His lips started to tremble, and he clenched his hands hard at his side. "I'm alright."

Suga shrugged, pulling one out and putting the rest of the pack away. Tsukishima tried to look away as he brought the lighter to his lips, and he heard the familiar click, click, click. He shut his eyes tight, trying to ignore it. He tapped his fingers to his side, trying to distract himself. "How long?" he asked absently.

"Seven years," Tsukishima replied, scuffing at the ground. Suga scoffed,

"Thirty, beat that," he smirked. Tsukishima watched him out of the corner of his eye. He was so young. He couldn't have been more than twenty-five years old. Well, it's not like Tsukishima could judge, he was only nineteen himself. "What're you gunna do with seven long years, Tsukishima?" Suga asked, and he didn't know what to say, because he didn't know. What _was_ he going to do with seven years? "What are you gunna do with thirty?" he replied, and Suga laughed.

"Get laid, is what," Tsukishima frowned, and that made Suga laugh more. "C'mon, don't look at me like that - what are you, straight?" he shook his head, blowing out. "No one's straight after more than two years in prison." He leaned closer, and he smelled of smoke and Tsukishima really wished it didn't stand out to him quite so much as it did. Suga pointed with the hand that held the cigarette, "Yaku and Lev? Banging," he said, pointing to the two as they argued on the court. The taller boy with his hands on his hips, the smaller one looked ready to start a fight. "And Matsukawa and Hanamaki are at it, too. Daichi's mine. Of course, there are a lot more, but...not in our group so...on to the forbidden ones." He leaned even closer still, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Oikawa and his guard Iwa are together." Tsukishima scanned the yard but couldn't find them. "They're off together, probably having quality time," he sniggered. "And your roomie is trying to get at it with the art teacher,"

"Art teacher?"

"He comes in like once a week, tries to get us to do art. He's cute, I guess. Kageyama adores him, poor thing." Suga shook his head, taking a breath in before he spoke again. "Between you and me, it's a more satisfying relationship if you get another prisoner, but....beggars can't be choosers,"

Tsukishima started to stammer out a reply, though he wasn't really sure what it was. He wasn't like that- he wasn't going to - he wasn't going to need... he couldn't grasp onto one particular thought.

Suga shook his head, "Trust me, after four years you're gunna regret saying that," he dismissed, treading his cigarette out on the gravel.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised I should've called this fic Jail bait I'm so mad at myself right now.

He met the art teacher Kageyama was supposedly crushing on the next week. He'd had a few days to settle in to prison life, to settle in to his role in Sugawara's group, and although he didn't find any of the people there particularly likeable, it was manageable. And Kageyama, although irritating, was not a _bad_ person. Well, yes he was. He was in prison. He was in for five years - of course he was bad. But like, he wasn't _bad_ bad. He wasn't going to stab Tsukishima as he slept - well, at least Tsukishima thought he wouldn't stab him - so that made him pretty alright, in prison terms. He was tolerable. And it was only for five years, give or take, if nobody murdered either of them before hand.

Which was definitely an if.

He witnessed three fights in the six days he'd been there. Two between inmates he'd never actually seen before, which either Suga or Oikawa had broken up before the guards had gotten their shit sorted out. And then the third fight had been between Daichi and one of the other inmates. It had been outside and it had quickly come to blows between them. However, Daichi's elbow had slammed the fire alarm while swinging back to punch, and after the guards reprimanded him nobody hadn't seen him since. He was probably in isolation, getting punished or something. Sugawara would probably know, but he looked really quite downtrodden and irritated since Daichi left and Kei didn't quite want to be murdered. He knew that was probably rude to think, but...what was he supposed to think? He'd done it once, there's no reason why he couldn't do it again. Tsukishima wasn't good with trust - he knew better than to trust people now.

They had their elective art class early the next week. It was something that they could opt in to do, and quite honestly, Tsukishima probably would have picked something else if he hadn't been peer pressured into it by the rest of the group. He was not the most artistic, but hey, maybe prison was the time to discover the Monet inside of him.

The room was bare, basic and large. Long desks were set up, and Tsukishima reluctantly took his seat near the back of the room. He noticed Kageyama deliberately sitting up front, hands on the desk, looking attentive. Tsukishima smiled at the sight. He thought it was odd - he's in prison for breaking the law - because he's too dangerous and needs to be punished before he can go back to society, and here he is, sitting front of the class, eager to lay eyes on the teacher he was crushing on. Sugawara dragged his hand across the desk, slowly making his way to the stool next to Tsukishima's. "Figured you'd be lonely, considering your roomie is saddled up at the front," he said, smirking, "And also because I'm fucking lonely."

"What's happening to Sawamura? With punishment?"

Sugawara's mouth flickered, and he shrugged, "Don't know. He'll probably come back later this week. That's how it usually goes." He cracked his knuckles, leaning forward on the desk.

Tsukishima looked around, most of the usual group were there. It seemed like all of the different cliques and gangs all did different activities - nobody wanted to be separated from one another. There were a few new faces - but that always seemed to be the case. He had no clue who the majority of people were - they seemed to come and go. Or maybe it was just because he was new. He didn't really know, and he didn't particularly care.

The lesson seemed to be surprisingly lax. Kei still didn't really know what he was expecting from prison life but... round the clock guards and observation probably would have been up there. But aside from the security cameras, and the guards outside the door, there didn't seem to be anything. And the teacher, Hinata, seemed surprisingly calm. He looked like a high school student, if that. It was difficult to actually make out how old he was. He was bubbly, irritatingly so, and really enthusiastic about art, even though he really wasn't particularly good at it. The art class really didn't take much...it was just sketching, really.

And so Tsukishima sat at the back, in the corner, the pencil in his hand as he concentrated. He wasn't very good, really. Hadn't picked up a pencil to draw passed high school, but it was relaxing, in some way. Sugawara leaned over his shoulder, "What're you drawing? A dog?" he asked, and Tsukki nodded minutely. "Why? D'you have a dog?"

"Yeah,"

"Aw, where is it now?" Suga leaned closer, and Tsukishima watched him, biting his lip as he moved further into the corner.

"With my brother,"

"That's sweet of him, holding on to your pet for seven years. That's dedication."

"Yeah. I guess." Tsukishima was eager to cut the conversation off quickly. He didn't really feel like having conversations with anybody. Suga didn't seem to take the hint though, or he did, and he was just deliberately pressing it. "What type of dog? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"She's a Pomeranian."

"Those are the small puffy ones right?"

"Yup."

"Cute. My sister's foster-mum has a Labrador. It's not a very exciting dog, but it's very sweet apparently."

"Labradors usually are," Tsukishima muttered, pausing his drawing for a moment. Sugawara watched him, his head resting on his hand. He smiled to himself, before looking down at his own drawing.

It was rather crude, and childish, a family portrait. Mum, dad, two kids. The normal family. Judging by the mole by the eye of the boy, Tsukishima assumed it was his own family. And when he saw the expression on Sugawara's face, the tight, closed off blankness he knew he really shouldn't have asked.

Around halfway through the session he got bored of actually trying to draw. He couldn't think of anything else but drawing Eiko the dog, and that was just getting depressing. Not seeing family at Christmas for seven years? Meh. Not seeing the dog at all for seven years? That was probably the worst thing about going to prison.

So, instead of actually participating in the class, he began his new hobby: people-watching. Kenma was in the corner, sketching quietly to himself, and beside him, a large man with wild black hair chatting as if Kenma was actually listening. Tsukishima had no idea where the man had come from, but he assumed that he'd been there all along and he'd just faded into the background. The man in front of him turned around, leaning his hands on Kenma's desk, joining in the conversation. He had messy black hair, though it almost looked deliberately tousled. Around the room, it looked like the majority of others were either drawing dicks on their sketchpads, not even pretending to work, or were taking the activity a little bit too seriously. The only one who seemed genuinely engaged with the teacher was Kageyama, and they didn't even seem to be working, just chatting with each other. Hinata was pressed close to his side, staring at Kageyama intently as they talked.

"You weren't kidding when you said that Kageyama was trying to get it on with the art teacher," he murmured. Sugawara looked up, smirking.

"You should have seen them at the beginning. Kageyama thought it would be a great idea to insult him, like that was going to help. He got put in punishment more than once for fighting him."

"Wow, he's really turned it around."

"With some careful coaching. Mainly from Oikawa, reluctantly, on how to properly date a member of staff."

Tsukki rolled his eyes, "They're not officially dating though, are they?"

"Well, no. It's a big step. Going from buddies to fuck-buddies. They both know it's coming though, I mean, look at their faces."

He was right. There was that completely lovesick and hopeful look on his face. It was honestly difficult to watch. Nobody should have that much hope while serving a five year prison sentence. Tsukishima was fairly certain the government had hoped prisoners to have a total lack of hope in prison, but this. That plan seemed to have backfired hugely. In fact, maybe it was the fact that the vast majority of the prisoners here had relatively small sentences, but even Sugawara didn't seem particularly phased with the whole prison sentence thing. Maybe they'd just had time to get used to it, but Kei already felt that apathetic attitude sinking into him.

"Oh, by the way, shifting the topic back to you," Sugawara smiled knowingly, and looked down at Tsukishima's sweatshirt. "It'll be summer soon. Whatever you're deliberately keeping your sleeves down for, you're not gunna hide it for seven years. People here are used to scars here, no one's gunna think twice about yours," he murmured quietly. Tsukishima automatically crossed his arms, a habit he'd picked up over the many years. A bell rang, and the guards opened the door as the other inmates began to file out. Despite being at the front of the work room, Kageyama was one of the last to leave, reluctant to leave his beloved art teacher.

And then that was when the Lord himself seemed to believe that Kei really was not suffering enough for his crimes. A seven year sentence was not enough. Maybe God had felt his growing lack of care, and decided to fix things, for once. Maybe the victims had been praying hard for revenge. But it was as Tsukishima was thinking about how pathetic Kageyama was for pining over a man he couldn't ever achieve. He was hoping against hope for a relationship that would no doubt be stomped on before it even had a chance to began. And Tsukishima was praising himself for not putting himself in that situation, when he stumbled in his path - judging from the snickering around him it was a deliberate trip up by one of the others - and he fell, his ankle burning. He swore under his breath as the other prisoners moved on around him, a couple hitting him not so subtly on their way past. "Hey, are you alright?" he looked up, expecting to see some kinder prisoner who was actually going to help, but he looked up to see a guard. A guard with dark skin, and freckles splattered across his face, and the backs of his arms and hands. He had dark brown hair that brushed over his forehead, and he held his hand out to Tsukishima, helping him up. "You alright?"

"Ankle, my uh, ankle," he stammered, staring at the guard. He smiled kindly.

"You probably twisted your ankle when you fell. You're lucky the infirmary is close - you don't have far to walk."

Tsukishima couldn't even think of anything else to say after that, his mouth was running dry and his ankle really did fucking hurt. He couldn't form a coherent thought, only fractions. And most of those fractions were just exclamations of bitterness and instant regret.

Because no-

this definitely-

it _couldn't_ -

they only just-

there was no way-

he's totally not-

He's not fucked like Kageyama. He can't be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you disappointed yet


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be long rip

Usually, a twisted ankle would be a bitch to have - especially since he'd been tripped. And yet, clinging to the guard he'd just met, being gently encouraged to the medical bay. He felt like he was walking on air. Well, not literally. Literally, it hurt like fuck. But he was leaning heavily on the guard, and he felt his warmth at his side and yeah, considering he had been expecting to have no connection with anybody for seven years. And yet, a week in he'd found somebody to lust over.

He wasn't a particularly romantic person, maybe it was to do with the oddness that made him a serial offender. He knew he wasn't normal, so maybe that was just something to do with it. He had had one girlfriend, when he was sixteen. And that was it. He hadn't really wanted anybody else. And yet, here he was. The clouds had parted, and the angels were singing, and this angel on Earth had wandered into his life. Maybe he was being a tad overdramatic, or maybe this guard was really just that good.

"The medical bay is just over here," the guard said, his voice sweet. He took it slowly, helping Tsukishima turn the corner and into the room.

And the guard stood there in the doorway as the doctor wrapped a bandage around his ankle. It took everything in Kei's being to not watch the guard as he stood there. He just wanted to stare at him, but staring at people was creepy - and it was made even more creepier when you were an inmate at a medium security prison. Having somebody with a history of violent behaviour staring at you probably wasn't romantic. It was probably a cause for concern. He should stop it.

But the guard looked like some sort of Disney princess - like if he went outside and sang all of the animals would run to him and they would be instant friends.

Tsukishima was infatuated and he'd only known him for a few moments.

That probably wasn't good.

The regular guard - Iwa, Sugawara had called him - came barging down the corridor, leaning close to the other guard. "Yamaguchi, what's this guy doing in here?" he asked, tipping his head towards Tsukishima.

Yamaguchi - what a pretty name - shrugged, biting his lip. "Ah, he um, tripped coming out of their session and his ankle was hurt?" Yamaguchi murmured, backing away from the bigger guard. Iwa looked lazily into the room, regarding Tsukishima was stern eyes. "What'd you do?" he asked.

"What?"

Iwaizumi sighed, leaning further in the doorway. "Your ankle, what'd you trip on?"

"Oh, I don't know?" No way in hell was he admitting he was tripped. He was a lot of things, but he wasn't a snitch.

"Clumsy, are you?"

"I guess so,"

Iwa smirked, leaning back to face Yamaguchi, "Bring him back when you're done, he can probably just rest. I doubt he'll be going on kitchen duty like this."

Tsukishima's face paled. "What's kitchen duty?"

"Helping cook the food and clean up, what did you think it was?"

Tsukishima's heart nearly skipped a beat. They wouldn't do that....no one could be that dumb. Surely.

Yamaguchi nodded to Iwaizumi, and the other guard departed, Yamaguchi smiling feebly at Tsukishima, watching him as the doctor bandaged his ankle.

He helped him limp back to his cell, where Kageyama was sat, drawing. "You alright now?" Yamaguchi asked, standing in the corner of the cell, and Tsukishima nodded quietly. "I'm fine," he said quietly. Yamaguchi nodded, smiling, dimples forming in his cheeks. "And you, Kageyama?"

The black haired boy started, looking up at him. "Fine," he said softly. Yamaguchi nodded at the two of them again, before stepping out and locking the door. Kageyama regarded Tsukishima tentatively. "What did you do?" he asked after a moment of silence. Kei regarded his ankle. "Tripped, I guess?" he muttered. Kageyama nodded.

"Right. You being hazed in. Better watch your glasses next. Would be pretty terrible if they got crushed or something."

"What?" Kei regarded him. Kageyama looked at him over the top of his sketch book, blue eyes staring cold and hard and vacant, before he looked back down at the paper. "Hazed in. You're new. Haven't kicked the shit out of anybody, so you're being hazed in. Welcome to prison," he answered. Kei bit his lip,

"Sounds absolutely wonderful."

"Mhm. Yup."

"Can't see why anybody would want to miss out on the opportunity of state prison." Tsukishima started playing with the end of his jumper. He licked his lips, his mind filled with the images of the guard, with his tanned freckled face and beautiful smile. The long hair that didn't seem to be tamed. Maybe it was because he was in prison now, because he wasn't able to touch, but he wanted to. "How long has that guard been working here?" he asked Kageyama eventually.

"Which one?"

"The one that just came in. Yamaguchi. Him."

"Oh, him. I don't know like, he came in just after I got here. Not long, I don't think."

Tsukishima nodded, hugging in on himself. He had nothing else left to do. He didn't want to read, and he didn't want to think about the guard. Thinking about the guard, because it reminded him just how completely fucked he was. He wasn't free. He wasn't free to pursue that man, he was a prisoner there. And he was going to be for a long, long, long time. Seven years.

After dinner, he fell to bed and slept before Kageyama had even turned their light out before he was asleep. His head filling with smoke again, as per usual. He woke in the early hours of the morning, covered in sweat. He sighed, flopping back onto the pillow. He waited quietly, hearing the sounds of the prison around him - men shifting in their beds, snores, and the footsteps of the guards. Tsukishima turned over, counting down the time on the clock.

 

It was visiting time the next day. And only a handful of prisoners had visits. Kageyama remained in his cell, struggling his way through a reading book. Tsukishima was one of the last people to enter the visiting room. There were only a few others, and his nosy nature led to him watching the others before he settled at his table. Sugawara was sat across the table from a young smiling girl sat on the lap of her father. The girl looked just like Suga - with the same colour hair and eyes, but the man looked nothing like them. Tsukishima was rather confused as to who he was to the two children.

Tsukishima eventually came to sit down across from his brother, Akiteru. He understood it was shocking, as he sat there in loose sweatshirt and trousers of the prison uniform. His brother smiled, trying to force himself to look at his little brother. They just sat there, staring at each other in silence. "How have you been?" Akiteru asked eventually, and Kei shrugged.

"As well as prison can go," Kei looked around, "Mum and dad were too busy then?" he asked. Akiteru cringed.

"It was...it's difficult for them to get time out of work," he excused. Kei shrugged,

"Of course."

Akiteru leaned forward, "What are the other inmates like?"

"Well there's two murderers, I'm fairly certain there's organised crime people in here, and just a lot of people who caused mayhem and violence, y'know the usual."

Akiteru bit his lip, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Kei shrugged, "I'm in prison. Not much you can do, is there?"

Akiteru sighed, head down to the table. Kei looked around at everyone else being visited by loved ones. And this is what he had. He almost wished Akiteru hadn't come at all. "Can you call mum and dad at some point?" his brother asked again, and Kei sighed, "I will see what I can do."

 

Afterwards, they had time outside, and Tsukishima reluctantly ended up hanging close to Sugawara again. "Who was that visiting?" the older man asked, nudging his arm.

"My brother."

"Same one that's keeping your dog for you?"

"Yup," Kei paused, "What about you? Who was visiting you?"

"My sister," he answered shortly.

"And who was with her?"

"Her foster-father."

Tsukishima nodded, leaning back against the wall as he watched the men around him. Yamaguchi was making his rounds, watching the basketball game, just as he caught sight of Tsukishima and began making his way over. He bit his lip, looking down. _Here comes trouble_. "Hey...Tsukishima, was it?" he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Yup,"

"How's your ankle?"

"A lot better today, thanks."

"That's good," Yamaguchi murmured, staring at him for a moment longer, before putting his head down and continuing to walk around the yard. Sugawara smirked. "You and the guard?"

"It's nothing like that," Tsukishima dismissed.

"Do you want it to be like that?" Suga pressed, leaning closer, speaking quieter.

"There's no way..."

"Well, Oikawa's managed it. Kageyama's doing it....why not?"

"Because he looks respectable. Not like he'd get down with a prisoner."

Suga shrugged, "And that blond over there doesn't look like a thief who's stolen over $600,000 worth of money and jewellery. And that pretty boy over there doesn't look like a drug dealer, does he?" he said, pointing to other prisoners. "You never know until you try, is my point."

"What have you got to lose?"

"Respectability, my reputation...."

"You're in prison, that's already in tatters," Suga waved a hand dismissively. Tsukishima sighed,

"I don't think I could," he muttered. "He seems nice."

Suga smirked, "It's always the nice ones."

Tsukishima shook his head, "You're a terrible influence on me."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im back with another shitty chapter :')  
> This might get slow because my health is pretty appalling atm, I'm also trying to write a few original things + I've gotten addicted to embroidery. I'll still try to update as soon as I can  
> If you want to ask questions about the au, or just check in with me whenever u can visit me on my [tumblr](http://anri-kun.tumblr.com/)

Despite making the decision to try and hook up with the hot freckled guard, Tsukishima actually had no idea how to do it. Even outside of prison...he wasn't a particularly sociable person. He hadn't had a relationship before. And prison probably wasn't the correct fucking way to start it. So he went on...and weeks past and all he had was casual exchanges with Yamaguchi the guard. And it was starting to get irritating. Around the second month of his sentence, he was sat in art class when Suga sat down next to him. "I thought you and that guard were going to get together?" he asked, and Daichi frowned.

" _What_?"

"Tsukki has a crush on Yamaguchi."

Daichi frowned, "Suga, he can't just-"

"He can if he wants to," he dismissed, turning back to Tsukishima. "Well?"

"I don't know what to do," Kei admitted, tapping his pencil on the paper. He watched Kageyama and Hinata talking. They weren't even pretending to do art, they were just talking. Kageyama said something, and Hinata frowned, putting his hand on his shoulder. Tsukishima had never seen Kageyama more flustered. Instead of laughing at him, he just felt a strange bitterness. How was he managing to maintain this relationship? How was he allowed to talk to him so freely? "What do you mean?"

"Never mind. I'll figure it out," he dismissed. Sugawara sighed, rolling his shoulders back.

"You know it's absolutely not going to get solved if you just continue doing this to yourself. Your prison sentence is short, you're not gunna-"

"It's seven years."

"Yeah, like six and nine months now. Because you're wasting time. It's a relatively short sentence, and you have absolutely nothing else to do."

"How do you suggest I do this?"

"I don't know. Ask Oikawa or Kageyama."

"Kageyama? He's not even doing anything. Hinata just touched his arm and he looks like he's gunna pass out."

"Really? I wanna see," Suga leaned over, snorting. "They're adorable. This is like middle school all over again," he sighed contently. "Maybe it would be better to have a middle school hold handing relationship with Yamaguchi first. He doesn't seem like the type to go straight into sex."

"Speaking of," Daichi said, "Where the hell is Oikawa?"

Sugawara shrugged, "Probably with Iwa. That's usually how it is."

Daichi clicked his tongue, "They're gunna get caught if they keep being this brazen."

"Let them live a little."

 

Iwaizumi squatted on the gravel outside of the kitchens, watching Oikawa as he sat next to him. "You said you wanted to do something?" he asked, and Oikawa nodded, revealing what he'd been hiding next to him.

"Tattoos!" He almost saw Iwaizumi's eye flicker. "You're kidding me right?" Oikawa frowned.

"But you have other tattoos Iwa-chan, I've seen them! You have that one on your hip and your thigh! It's only gunna be a small one!"

 Iwa shook his head,  "So it was you who did Sugawara's tattoos then, hm?" he smirked, "You little shit." Oikawa's frown was gone, and he smiled. "Don't snitch on me, okay?" He sang, and Iwa shook his head.

"Then I'd have to explain what I'm doing out here with you, wouldn't I?" He eyed the makeshift tattoo kit wearily. "What if it goes wrong?"

"Suga-chan's not sick, is he? His aren't infected. I'm good at this," Oikawa shrugged, busying himself with the stuff. "I shoulda been a tattoo artist. If I hadn't been a murderer." Iwaizumi had gotten used to those off hand comments Tooru made. Those comments that reminded him that his partner - his boyfriend - was a murderer. "We don't have to if you don't want to...I just thought..."

"Nah, it's fine. Go on then."

Oikawa clapped happily. "I thought we should do something special, cuz it's a year, y'know. Since we started passing notes."

"You kept the date?"

"Well I have nothing better to do you know!" Oikawa shook his head. "I've been here five years already, and you've made this last year so much better than it would have been without you," he leaned over to kiss Iwaizumi tenderly. Hajime grimaced, "Don't be so romantic. It doesn't suit you, y'know." Oikawa smiled, kissing him again. "What did you want to do?"

"Star signs! Like...I get Gemini...because you're a Gemini. And you get Cancer, 'cuz I'm a Cancer. See, it's subtle but still links us. The other alternative is I put _I heart Oikawa_ over your arm, but I thought that was obvious." Iwa nodded, "Yeah...no. Let's just stick with star signs."

"Now you can't break up with me now. Cuz you'll have a permanent reminder."

"I wasn't gunna break up with you anyway," Iwa dismissed. "You know that, you idiot. You've already done the worst thing imaginable, you literally _can't_ get any worse and I still love you."

Oikawa clutched his chest. "That's so sweet, Iwa-chan!" he undid the cuffs of Iwa's sleeve, rolling it back. "But you know that I wasn't without my reasons. I didn't kill him for no reason."

"I know." Iwa said, watching Oikawa work. "When's your next appeal coming up?"

"It's not." Oikawa said frankly. "They're never gunna believe me, Iwa-chan. There's no point."

"But...it's your life. It means everything."

"I should have thought about that before I did it," Oikawa chuckled sadly. "Everyone thinks it's my fault. That's not gunna change, Iwa-chan." And that was the end of it. He got to work, and Iwaizumi let the topic drop. He knew it was difficult to talk about.

 

One fresh tattoo later, Oikawa swaggered back into the art class, acting like he'd never been gone. He sat down in front of Daichi and Sugawara, smirking. Tsukishima bit his lip, his head down. "So, Oikawa...what'd you and Iwaizumi get up to now?" Daichi asked, there was a feeling of dread in his voice.

"Tattoos," Oikawa said proudly, pulling his shirt up to show the fresh Gemini symbol on his hip. Sugawara clicked his tongue. "Boy, this is getting serious..." he said. "Do you think you could give out any tips?"

Tsukishima almost let his head hit the desk. "Why, Suga-chan? I thought you and Daichi were an item."

"Oh we are," Suga said, reaching out to grab Daichi's thigh. "But new kid here has the hots for the freckled guard."

Oikawa blinked. " _Yama_ -chan?!" he asked. Tsukishima realised that he was involved in the conversation whether he wanted to be or not, so he just looked up. "Yeah. Yamaguchi."

Oikawa whistled, "Jesus Christ. That's a toughie. I just started with notes, to be honest. I have no idea how he's going to react...he seems nothing like Iwa-chan."

"Thanks." Tsukishima murmured coldly, shuffling off his seat as the bell rang again.

And he hoped it was going to be left at that, but no, apparently. It seemed like a new possible match - a new match between guard and prisoner. Everyone seemed to be in on it, leaning close together on the table, scheming. "How about I go about this on my own, hm?" Tsukishima asked, getting rather frustrated with all of the other people. The guards were starting to get suspicious. "Look, they think we're plotting something."

"But you have no idea how this works. You're 18. You're a baby, let us handle this."

"Jeez, I didn't know we're group-dating him now," he murmured.

"We're not, we just don't want you to fuck up. Cuz if you fuck up, they're going to look at us, and they're going to investigate all of us. And trust me, you don't wanna be the reason that Oikawa and Iwa get separated." Suga said all of that very quietly, muttering it into his ear. "We're not trying to embarrass you. We're trying to make sure you don't get killed. And also because this is prison. And we have nothing else to do." Suga smiled, trying to ease it off, but the worst had already lodged itself in Tsukishima mind. It was so dangerous. Why was he doing this? Why couldn't he just settle for one of the prisoners - if he had to have somebody. But when he looked around, he realised that it was Yamaguchi or seven lonely years.

"Right, we'll start with notes."

 

It took him a while to compose something that was suitably casual and at the same time put forward what he wanted to say. They ended up sat in the library, Sugawara, Oikawa and three other men - Kenma, Kuroo and Akaashi. The latter two insisted that they had experience and were going to be useful, Kenma just seemed to want somewhere to sit down. "That seems a little bit desperate, no offence," Akaashi murmured, rereading his new attempt. "I'm sorry I didn't realise you were a master poet, not a drug dealer, my bad." Tsukishima snapped, scribbling it out. "I can be both. I communicate with my fiancé in letters, I'm very used to writing letters. And I am still a great drug dealer."

Tsukishima shrugged, "Well, evidently you're not. You're in prison."

"I'm in prison because someone dobbed me in. Look, Kenma, you used to be a clie-"

"I'm not in for drug related  charges, so I would really love you not to say whatever you were gunna say out loud."

They went quiet, Akaashi eventually grabbing the paper. "Look, how about I write something and you just see if you like it-"

"No- that's not really the point of this-"

"No, Akaashi's right, you're an eighteen year old virgin you'll mess this up."

"Hey I think that Tsukki should write it. He's the one trying to woo the guard."

"Thank you, Kuroo for that logical-"

"No I still think Akaashi could write it better."

"But he doesn't have feelings for him-"

"He doesn't have to have feelings, he's just getting your foot in the door for you so you don't mess this up before you even start."

Their hushed argument and scrabbling for the paper had obviously attracted the attention of a few guards, and they'd come marching over. "Anything in particular you guys are fighting over?" The entire table looked up, and Tsukishima's heart nearly dropped. His name was the only name on this piece of paper - he was going to get into so much trouble-

"Kenma-chan was fucking around with our game of noughts and crosses, we were just getting a little bit intense." Kenma immediately scowled and Akaashi kicked him under the table to try and get him to comply. The guard, Tendou, raised one eyebrow, like he didn't believe a word Oikawa was saying.

"Well, on that note, I really don't wanna stay with a cheating bitch like him, so I'm just gunna- ow fuck!" he tripped over Sugawara's chair, falling on the floor. "Shit...I really hurt my wrist." Tendou stood there thoroughly unconvinced, but the commotion had brought some of the other guards over, including Iwaizumi. "Are you okay?"

"He's plotting, Iwa. He's probably faking it."

Iwaizumi had to fight really hard to try to maintain a calm face. "And if he's not faking it, he could probably sue the prison for neglect, I'm not taking any chances." He helped Oikawa to his feet, and stared at Tendou for a moment before the red haired guard backed off. They all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why did _I_ have to be the cheater here? Kuroo's the con-man..."

"You pulled the short straw Kenma-"

"Wait. Where's the note?" Tsukishima asked, which incited a mad scramble through the paper on the desk to try and find Akaashi's note.

"Akaashi you had it last!"

"And it was on the table by the pencil! It should still be there unless-"

They all turned and watched Oikawa as he slowly hobbled away with Iwa. He smirked as he looked behind them, lifting up his shirt to reveal the note tucked into his trousers.

Tsukishima nearly passed out with panic. "I don't know what's worse, that I have no idea what Akaashi said, or that the note ended up in Oikawa's underwear."

 

Oikawa tucked the note into Iwa's hand as they went down the corridor. "Note passing? Again? Really, Oikawa?"

"It's not for you," he said quietly. "It's for that guard. Yamaguchi. It's from Tsukishima."

Iwa shook his head, "Don't get him involved in this. He's too innocent."

"Just...make sure he doesn't tell anyone about it, okay?" Iwa tucked the note into his pocket,

"Sure."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after this chapter and TsukkiYama is established, I'm gunna start generalising and focusing on the other couples more. They're highlighted because they're not just side ships, they also have their own stories to go along with Tsukki's. I'm writing like 3 aus at the minute so please excuse my tardiness. I have one au I've been neglecting since like april and I really need to get back on it an finish it....  
> This was a fast update but please don't get used to fast updates! I can take anywhere from two days to a month so...

Yamaguchi didn't really know what he was doing when he became a prison officer. He'd been aiming, at some point or another, to be a police officer. A nasty injury and a bad case of bullying meant that he had dropped out less than a year out of getting into the police academy. He didn't feel like trying again. In fact, he'd been too scared to try again for another job. It was his roommate, Yachi, who had encouraged him.

He'd been terrified at the prospect of prison guard originally, the prospect of dealing with murderers and the like was scary. He'd heard from the other guards what they were like...what they'd done. And they seemed entirely different to what he was expecting. He wasn't expecting people so....normal. He was expecting people he could easily hate.

And what he was most surprised about was how well he got on with some of them. Sugawara - the murderer - he was so warm. And Tsukishima. He was...nice...surprisingly so. He looked stern, and scary, but Yamaguchi found he was easy to talk to. He didn't know what he'd done...but it couldn't have been bad. He just didn't seem like the type.

But then again, neither did Sugawara.

Yamaguchi was sat at the breakfast table, across from his flatmate. "How's work?" she asked sleepily, and he shrugged. "Okay. I guess. There are...new people."

"Dangerous people?" she asked nervously.

"I expect so. I haven't looked them up, I must admit. Too scared."

"Don't you want to know what they did?"

"It just makes me more scared if I do. I'd rather work in blissful ignorance," he admitted, picking up his own dishes and putting them in the sink to soak. Yachi shivered, shaking her head. She didn't know how he did that job, and if Tadashi was completely honest, he didn't know how he did it either.

Some of the other guards seem to work on the philosophy that these people were there to be punished, and only punished. They weren't to be understood, they weren't to be spoken to - they weren't even to be treated like people. And Yamaguchi couldn't do that. It wasn't in his nature. He knew that yes, these people had hurt others and had done wrong, but he couldn't treat them like animals. He couldn't act like they were worth less than him. Maybe that was his weakness, maybe that was going to land him in trouble one day.

And it was _exactly_ when he was thinking this, that he was approached by Iwaizumi in the locker room. He came up very quietly behind him, clearly trying not to attract the attention of the other guards.

"We need to talk," he said, and Yamaguchi froze. "Wait for me when you go on your break."

 

Yamaguchi spent the rest of his shift frozen in fear. What had he done? He liked Iwaizumi as a co-worker. He was understanding, and he seemed to have the genuine respect of many of the prisoners there. He was not somebody he wanted to upset. So he waited for him anxiously, twisting the bottom of his shirt in his hands, trying to calm himself down. Iwa let himself in quietly, going over first to get himself a glass of water. He sat down next to Yamaguchi, still seemingly ignoring him. He took a sip, and then sighed, putting the glass down in front of himself. "So," he began.

"So," Yamaguchi repeated, trying to come across as calm.

"I...I need to talk to you, about the prisoners here, and how you think of them."

"I don't understand?"

Iwaizumi sighed, digging through his pocket and pulling out a folded scrap of paper. "This is a letter. From one of the prisoners. To you."

Tadashi sat frozen.

"Now, you'll know that...this kind of relationship isn't allowed. So, I'm giving you a choice now. Either, you say you don't want anything to do with it, and I return this to the prisoner, or I give this to you, and you take control of this situation," he licked his lips, "Either way, no matter what you do, you need to be quiet about this. If you tell, and if you report this...I really don't mean to threaten you but it will get you hurt. Some of these people are dangerous, and you do not want to cross them. I don't mean to threaten you but I need you to be aware of that. It's your choice whether you look at the note or not but you _can't_ tell any of our bosses about this."

Yamaguchi licked his lips, staring at the piece of paper in Iwa's hand. Was he going to do this? Was he going to risk his job...for this? He could just not accept it, no harm done, he could pretend that nothing had ever happened, but...he was curious. Who was it from? He couldn't think of any particular prisoner who might like him.

He could think of who he wanted it to be, though. Blond hair, glasses... Yamaguchi stopped himself thinking, before he could continue. He couldn't get his hopes up. Tadashi took a deep breath in, and reached out to take the note from Iwa.

His hands were shaking while he unfolded it, laying the crumpled paper flat on the table.

_Dear Yamaguchi,_

_I know this is sudden and out of the blue, but I really like you._

_I want to talk to you properly about this,_

_Face to face._

_I hope to hear from you,_

_Tsukishima._

Yamaguchi's heart fluttered when he read the name underneath. Half of his brain - the rational side - was telling him that this was _wrong_. Tsukishima was in prison, he had broken the law - he was a bad person. It was against the rules for him to like him - for them to date. Entering into a relationship like this was only going to hurt. It was going to be full of secrecy and fear and worry. Their relationship was going to be mostly long distance, until he finished his sentence. He didn't even know how long his sentence was. He could be waiting for thirty years.

But the other side of the his brain was overcome with a desperation to return this and to start a relationship. It wasn't love, what he felt for Tsukishima, at least not yet anyway. But he was attracted to him, and he really _wanted_ to know more about him. He didn't care about the prison sentence, or about the time. As a person, from what he'd seen of him so far, he really liked him.

"What are you gunna do?" Iwa asked quietly. Tadashi jumped, scrunching the paper up.

"Is it...is it bad...if I meet with him?" he asked, his voice small. Iwaizumi shook his head.

"Just remember to be quiet, and to be discrete."

"...Right."

"If you need to talk to somebody...about it, I mean. I'll be there." He went to stand and to move on, and Yamaguchi held the note tightly in his hand, suddenly feeling very small. "...Thank you."

Iwa patted his shoulders gently, leaving him alone.

 

It was a few days before Tsukishima heard back from Yamaguchi. After the first day past, he was worried that he had been rejected. He felt sick with worry, and was finding it nearly impossible to focus on any task. The others who had written the note had started to get antsy too. "If he got it, and he told, we'd have known by now," Sugawara kept reasoning. Oikawa shook his head. "Iwa-chan said he wouldn't tell. He promised. Maybe you just got rejected."

Tsukishima didn't know what hurt more: the fact that he could have gotten rejected, or the fact that he could have possibly gotten into trouble. Either way, it seemed to hurt about the same. He was starting to give up on his advances, when he ran into Yamaguchi in the corridor. They watched each other for a moment or two, Tadashi's eyes owlish and nervous. Kei watched him, not sure _what_ his expression meant. "I um...I need to talk to you," Yamaguchi said eventually, and Tsukishima nodded, checking the corridor before pulling Yamaguchi into a nearby cupboard.

It was narrow in there, and it was a tight fit, and the two of them stood in the relative darkness, standing almost chest-to-chest. "Yes?" Tsukishima said quietly, trying to hide his nerves.

"You um..you wrote me a note, the other day."

It took a moment for Tsukishima to realise what he meant by that exactly. And then he remembered he also did not actually _write_ that note. Nor did he have any idea what it actually said. He really hoped Akaashi hadn't written some complex thirteen stanza poem about the shade of amber that Yamaguchi's eyes were. "Yes?" he finally said, after a moment. He hoped to God that he didn't have to explain the note.

Yamaguchi swallowed hard, clearly gathering his courage. "You said you really liked me," his face twitched nervously, and he looked down at his shoes.

"Yeah," was all Tsukki could think to say.

"Really?" Yamaguchi squeaked.

Tsukishima was lost for words. "Of course," he said quickly. "I'm a prisoner. I...I wasn't expected to be treated like a person, much less have the respect you gave me...you've...you seem like such a genuinely caring person, and I never expected to have someone treat me like that."

"You always deserve to be treated with respect," Yamaguchi snapped, before he really thought about it. Tsukishima raised his eyebrows, "I know that the people who put me in here....would deny that."

Yamaguchi shrugged, "Well...they may have their reasons, but I can't think of any reason why a human being should be treated as less than such. I mean...people in here have done terrible things but...they're still people. We're still dealing with people. You can't shut that out and pretend they're not people." Yamaguchi sighed, "And...no matter what you did...I'm sure I can still like you, despite that. For the person you are."

"I hurt people," Tsukishima said. It was nearly a whisper, he could barely hear himself. Yamaguchi heard him, and he looked down. This was what he was so conflicted about. He...he liked Tsukishima as a person. He was polite, intelligent...and remarkably funny in the instances where they'd spoken over the first few months of his sentence. But he had hurt people. He was a violent person. What if he'd beaten his partner? What if he'd hurt a child? He had no idea what he'd done. And that scared him. "I know," Yamaguchi said eventually, "And I'm not ignoring that but... that's not everything you are, is it?" Tsukishima looked down.

"I don't know right now."

Yamaguchi took a deep breath in. "I can see you feel regret. And...whatever you're figuring out, I'll be there with you, to help you." He grabbed hold of Tsukishima's hand in the dark. "I will be there when I can, I promise." The two men stood there, staring at their hands. "What do we do now?" Tsukishima asked eventually.

"Can I know your first name?"

"Kei. Tsukishima Kei. What's yours?"

"Tadashi."

Kei smiled, "Well...that's a start, I guess." They stood for a moment longer, before Yamaguchi reluctantly looked up. "I should probably get back..." he said, easing his hand out of Tsukishima's. They stared at each other for a moment, before he leaned forward, kissing him quickly on the cheek. "We'll talk soon," he promised, before leaving the cupboard.

Tsukishima stayed behind for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. His mind was racing. He ran a hand through his hair, desperately trying to calm himself. So many thoughts were going through his head, from disbelief to shock to excitement. There was one thought ringing uncontrollably through his head. He could hear the man's voice. He would never forget his voice from the trial. The voice of the man that had damned him to prison. The voice of his victim. It was ringing through his head, almost blanking out everything else. In a moment of panic, Kei slid to his knees, trying to block his voice out. His voice was so loud.

_You do not deserve this._

_I know_ , Kei thought to himself, trying to make it stop. _I know I don't deserve him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave a comment, I love hearing what people think about my stories and I always love to hear your favourite parts or your predictions/hopes for later chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye yo I managed to update wahey look at me go. Im doin shit.  
> I'm going off my medication for this week and let me tell you  
> That's going terrible.  
> So I'm trying to be productive.  
> Feel free to yell at me on tumblr for the next chapter or plot details, or for general encouragement.  
> Anri-kun.tumblr.com  
> U can talk to me whenever just be aware I'm v boring and uncomfortable to talk with bc I'm a piece of shit ayee  
> Results day is in 11 days I'm going to die because my exams went terribly I did like half of them post-fit on morphine so I'm basically going to fail everything wish me luck :))  
> W/o further ado here's this bad piece o writing

Tsukishima didn’t have anything to say when he entered the library. Sugawara smirked, looking up from his cards. “You got it, then?” he asked. Tsukishima bit his lip,

“I guess…”

Oikawa placed a card down on the pile in the middle of the table. “Yay! A new member of the illegal-dating club! It’s getting boring only having Tobio-chan in the same situation,” he pouted. Kageyama frowned, staring at Oikawa with a distinctly hurt look on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but Suga cut him off. “I think you owe Akaashi a thank you,” he prompted softly. Kei sighed reluctantly, his eyes wandering over to where Akaashi was curled in his chair. He was sat in the very corner of the library, with Kenma sprawled at the foot of the chair like a pet cat, engrossed in his own book. Tsukishima made his way over, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Hi,” Tsukishima said after a moment of silence.

“Oh, hello there,” Akaashi replied without looking up from his book. “I...uh...need to thank you, I suppose.” Akaashi raised his eyes, considering him slowly. “The note?” he murmured, and Kei nodded. Akaashi smiled,

“You’re very welcome.”

“You hardly need to thank him,” Kenma interjected. Tsukishima frowned,

“Excuse me?”

“Akaashi writes letters to his fiance, but his fiance isn’t smart. Akaashi has no great romantic writing skill,” he explained.

“Wow, Kozume. It’s like you actually want me to snitch on you.”

“But...if you write as well as me, why did you need to write the note?” 

Akaashi slipped a bookmark between the pages, sighing. “Because you were….in technical terms, really fucking yourself over, and someone needed to sort it out.” 

Tsukishima frowned, and Akaashi’s face softened slightly. “I feel like you don’t have experience in...romance. Needing help is perfectly normal in that situation. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, we all fuck ourselves over at some point,” he explained. Tsukishima nodded,

“Well...thanks anyway.”

 

He sat down beside Kuroo at the table, watching the card game. Suga was reluctantly handing over the three cigarettes he had bet to Oikawa. “You’re too damn good at this game,” he laughed, Oikawa smiling innocently. “You should know when to give up.”

Sugawara smiled as Tsukishima sat down. “So. Details. What’s it like between you and Yamaguchi?” he asked, the whole table turning to look at him.

“We’ve only just started to date…” 

Oikawa pouted, “Oh, taking things slow? How boring,” he dismissed, turning back to shuffle the deck of cards. Sugawara smiled, “You’re a teenager, I’m glad you’re taking things slow. It’s good,” he said gently, “Just make sure to update us when things actually start happening. Nothing ever really happens in prison, we’re getting bored of who’s fighting who news,” he explained as Oikawa began dealing the cards out.

After several more rounds and a dramatic comeback of Suga winning back all of the cigarettes he’d lost to Oikawa plus more, the guards came round handing out envelopes. “It’s the mail,” Kuroo explained as Sugawara received a hefty stack of envelopes.”Why do you have so many?” Tsukki asked, and Suga raised an eyebrow.

“Fanmail,” he said, sifting through the letters. Tsukishima’s own stack was small. His dad had written to him, and he had a few letters from his lawyer and from a few people he really didn’t give a shit about. Just people he used to associate with in high school and... _ no _ .

His hands froze when he came to one handwritten envelope. No. He stared at it, his stomach dropping. “Hey...Tsukishima?” Kuroo asked, staring at him, frowning.

“Yeah?”

“You alright?” Kuroo asked. Tsukishima brushed the envelope to the bottom of the pile. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he dismissed, opening every envelope except for that one. Suga next to him was quiet as he carefully read through each letter after the other. “He always answers everyone who writes to him,” Kageyama explained.

“Why?” 

“Dunno. I guess he just wants to,” he said, brushing his own letters aside. Kei couldn’t help but notice that Kageyama seemed to be avoiding his own letters as well. Sugawara barely spoke to anyone that day as he finished reading all of the letters, before grabbing a wad of paper to begin writing his replies. Tsukishima read his, although he didn’t want to write back to anyone. He could call his dad, and he really didn’t give a shit about his old school friends.He kept the hand written note, knowing he should just ignore it and live in blissful ignorance. But he was bad at resisting his urges.

So, with the letter in hand, he made his way to the bathroom, locking himself in one of the stalls. His hands shook a little as he tore open the envelope, unfolding the paper inside. It was a piece of lined paper with one simple sentence written at the top. 

_ It’s okay, I forgive you. _

He ripped it into pieces as soon as he read it. Rage was burning through him, taking every ounce of sense with it. He’d already flushed the letter before he knew what he was doing. He was left standing in the stall, the ripped envelope clutched in his hand. 

Tendou was the first guard he came across when he exited the toilets. “Excuse me, can you block letters from a certain address?”

Tendou stared at him like he was an idiot. “Why?”

“...Because I don’t want letters from this guy?”

“Then write back and say that,” Tendou replied, turning away.

“This guy doesn’t...that won’t stop him. Can’t you just block it?” he asked, holding the envelope out. Tendou sighed, “Is this man harassing you?” 

“Well...no, but-”

“Then no. You’re gunna have to put up with it,” he said finally, walking away. Tsukishima sighed, throwing the envelope away as he entered the yard, where everyone was now. “What was that about?” Kuroo asked as he came out. “Nothing,” he said quickly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“You can’t lie to a con man, Tsukki. You were asking Tendou about a letter?” he pressed. Kei sighed,

“I wanted to block letters from someone.”

“Who?”

Tsukishima swallowed, “My victim,” he said evenly. Kuroo whistled, 

“Personal, then?”

“What, the attack or the letter?”

“Both.”

“Yes. I knew him,”

“And...was it violent?”

“Not unjustly so,” his voice was clipped. Kuroo nodded,

“Violent attacks always seem to mean the victims want to punish you. I guess in a way, you deserve that. No offense.” Tsukishima shook his head,

“If you knew what he was like you would agree that I was right,” he said firmly.

 

He managed to get alone time with Yamaguchi later in the week. He was so unsure of how normal relationships functioned. And talking was never a strong point of his. So it was awkward. “I’m sorry for this,” he said eventually as they stood together in a hidden corner of the yard. 

“It’s fine,” Yamaguchi said quietly. “Iwaizumi said that...most prison relationships were sexual and I needed to ask if that was what...what you meant when you asked me out?”

“ _ No _ ,” Tsukishima spat before he could stop himself. Yamaguchi took a step back, confused. “I...I just want a normal relationship. Whatever that means. I don’t...I’ve never had a relationship before so you’ll have to explain it to me.”

Yamaguchi smile, “I’m so glad you said that, because I was going to have to turn you down if you just wanted sex,” he said gently, his hand brushing Tsukishima’s. Kei grabbed his hand slowly, holding it tight in his own. “I guess we should get to know each other. That’s how people usually start dating.” 

Tsukishima shrugged, “Well then...what did you do before you were a prison guard?” he asked, leaning closer, trying to feel his body warmth.

“I had a very, very brief time at the police academy before dropping out and coming here.”

Kei raised his eyebrows, “You were gunna be a police officer. Damn...are you sure you wanna date me?”

Yamaguchi laughed gently. “I wanted to keep people safe. And...yeah, you’ve broken the law, but you’re being punished. And I think if we’d met outside of prison, I would have liked you so...the fact you’re a prisoner doesn’t change anything.”

“Except for the fact that you could be fired for this relationship. And your parents and probably your friends will be horrified if you ever tell them about me-”

“Shh. I’ll deal with that when I come to it,” he smiled. “What about you? What did you do… before you went to prison?” He seemed so hesitant to ask, so worried it would be the wrong thing to say. “High school. I was arrested in the break between high school and university.”

“Uni? Damn, what were you gunna do?”

“Mathematics. Boring shit. Probably won’t get there now, what with prison and everything,” he smirked.

“Well you can still...like, there are prison courses aren’t there? You can still get a degree.”

“Who’s gunna hire a mathematician who got their degree in prison? People in those professions are so strait-laced, I gotta start working for something more suitable now.” 

Yamaguchi shrugged, “I don’t think you should give up so soon, if you’re that smart. When do you get out of prison?”

“Seven years. When I’m twenty five.”

“You could...still go to uni then. There’s still hope.”

The bell rang out through the yard, and the two of them looked at each other. “Oh well… I...have to go, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Yamaguchi murmured, sighing. The two of them looked at each other again, not wanting to move. Tadashi wanted Tsukishima to lean in and kiss him but...he’d never been in a relationship. Yamaguchi was going to have to be the one to make the moves.

So he leaned in, holding Tsukishima’s hands steady as he kissed him quickly on the lips. “I’ll...see you again soon, I guess. C’mon, gotta get you back inside.”

“Anything you say,” Tsukishima said, his voice airy, his entire face turning pink. 

 

Daichi lay in his bunk awake at the sound of Suga scribbling down. “Are you still writing?” Daichi asked, as he rolled over and watched him as he sat on the floor. “Yup,”

“Not gunna come to bed?” 

“I want to reply to everyone as soon as.”

“That’s good of you, but you also need sleep.”

“These kids need attention. They need somebody to listen to them. I need to show them that someone’s listening. So they don’t end up in prison too.”

Daichi got out of bed, the frame creaking as he stood up, wrapping his arms around Suga. “They won’t be delivered until tomorrow anyway, come on,” he pulled him up off the floor, and next to him on to bed. But Suga didn’t sleep. He kept thinking about all the kids who wrote to him, desperate to try and get out of their situation. All of the people who wanted to do what he did. He shut his eyes. Trying to block out his thoughts. He couldn’t stop himself, but he could try and stop them. Maybe things would turn out better for them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello pals  
> It's 6 days left until results day I'm going to die. My brother got an A* so ;_; I'm gunna be the disappointing child I can feel it.   
> Also, I am quite keen about embroidery, and I may have gone a little overboard in buying new thread...I have about 400 threads and they don't fit in the box anymore so I really need to use them all up asap, so I'll be taking requests! I can do simple shapes and words (Like Kurocat and Kenmacat, those kinds of simple animals) And I do like, pokemon and stuff. I have a thing for it on my tumblr.  
> Anri-kun.tumblr.com/tagged/embroidery  
> (I would link it but I'm on my home laptop and I have a fuck ton of security on my tumblr so its just inconvenient and irritating to have to log back in somewhere else)   
> But yes if u have any suggestions or requests plz message me or comment or whatever I need to use up them threads.  
> Also yes this is kinda short but I plan to update again sooner.  
> My thought process is startin to :') Die a little bit I'm gettin a lil confused so sozzers if there r mistakes

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s new favourite thing to do together was kiss. Ever since their first real kiss that day in the yard, Tsukishima couldn’t really get enough. He’d never kissed somebody before. Not on his own terms. He’d not been with somebody as cute as Yamaguchi. They talked too. They talked a lot. About their families, and their high school lives. But there was something he could never admit. Something that had never passed his lips, and wa never going to until the day he died.

Life seemed easier having Yamaguchi to talk with, somebody who would dote on him, like he’d never had somebody think about him before. Prison wasn’t as difficult to manage as he thought it was going to be. And life was interesting with the people he had reluctantly gravitated towards. He didn’t get picked on by the other prisoners because he had Sugawara and Oikawa hanging around over him. Turns out the other inmates preferred to avoid making trouble with the murderers. They avoided it like the plague. He was getting the hang of the way of life. He didn’t really know what life was like outside of prison anymore. High school was nothing like the real world. And neither was prison. He was going to have one hell of a shock on his hands when he got out.

“What do you guys think about getting married while in prison?” Akaashi asked one art lesson as he turned his chair around so the whole group were crowded around one table. “It would be nice for my boyfriend to marry me while I'm still young,” Oikawa said dreamily. “Although it's not like we'd have wedding photos so I guess it doesn't really matter.”

“I would like Daichi to keep in touch so maybe we could marry when I'm out of prison. Even if I was all old and middle aged,” Suga said, kissing Daichi on the cheek. The receiving man smiled, pulling Suga closer to him. “Yes well that's all very well and good,” Kenma said, “But same sex marriage is not legal.”

Everyone in the group paused suddenly remembering. “I haven't paid attention to the law for so long I didn't even bother to check that…” Oikawa muttered.

“Why are you asking, Akaashi?” Kenma asked as he put down his pencil. The black haired man sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Bokuto is really obsessed with the idea of being one of the first couples married when gay marriage  _ is  _ legal. And well...because of my previous felonies and repetitive jail time, he's thinking we should just tie the knot in prison. But I'm not too sure.”

“Why would you get married in prison? Are you struggling for money or something?” Sugawara asked. “Because I always thought drug dealers would be rich.”

“Oh yeah, money isn't really an object in the whole wedding thing.”

“Then just get married when you're out of prison. I mean, with all the organising you need to make a prison trip, you wouldn't be one of the first couples anyway. So if you don't even have that achievement… just wait.”

“What does Bokuto work as? He doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who’ll just mooch off you.”

“No, he works as a teaching assistant in an elementary school.”

Kuroo choked, “Really? Even with your multiple drug convictions?”

“I mean, we maintain that he has no idea about my dealings or my work, so he doesn’t have any convictions.”

“So...is that not true?” Suga asked, smiling.

“Well...I mean he does know. But, if I ever get arrested he maintains the ‘He told me he quit that’ story, pretends to be mad, y’know.”

“And he doesn’t use or anything?”

“No. Oh god no. Bokuto doesn’t even drink. I don’t use either, I just sell.”

Sugawara nodded, “Fair enough.” 

 

They kept talking, not really even maintaining the idea that they were even attempting to continue with art. Tsukishima looked away, looking out at Kageyama and Hinata. They were staring at each other, smiling. There were maybe only a couple inches of space between the two of them. Sugawara looked up to where Tsukishima was staring, and smiled. “Do you think they’ll kiss?” he asked, and Tsukishima shook his head.

“Kageyama doesn’t have the balls,”

“We’ll see,” Suga said, before he cupped his hands to his mouth. “Just kiss already!” 

Hinata and Kageyama looked up, suddenly moving away from one another. “Well that seemed to have had the opposite effect,” Tsukishima muttered. The entire group were watching the two of them. 

“What are you talking about Sugawara?” Hinata stammered, his face so red it nearly matched his hair. 

“C’mon, it’s obvious that you two like each other,” Oikawa joined in, smirking, 

“But that’s not...it’s not allowed!”

“Is that your only problem? Because you do realise you’re in prison, surrounded by people who have gone and done stuff that is ‘not allowed’?”

Hinata looked down, his hands wringing through his shirt. “Don’t be a wuss, c’mon.” 

Sugawara sighed, “You do have feelings for one another though, right?”

Hinata and Kageyama looked at each other, panicked. “N-no!”

“Well...maybe…”

“Possibly.”

“But we can’t-”

“It’s just really-”

“It would be too difficult.” The two of them said eventually. Suga sighed. 

“If you want it, it should be worth it.” Daichi shoved him, 

“Let them get on with it, Suga. It’s not your place to say anything.” Reluctantly, everybody in the room went back to their own conversations, bored that nothing was happening between the two of them. “It’s going to happen one of these days, I know it.” Sugawara said eventually. “Maybe Kageyama just needs a bit more encouragement. He’ll get there.”

 

Tsukishima recounted the story to Yamaguchi during one of their meetings later that day. “These relationships...they’re more common than people like to make out, aren’t they?”

“It would seem so. I just hope they’re careful. Because if one relationship tips off the other guards...then everyone’s going to be getting close scrutiny.”  Yamaguchi leaned in to Tsukishima’s chest, and the prisoner ran his hand through his hair, comforting him. “I...I’m scared. That we’ll get found out. But I don’t regret this,” he said quietly. Tsukishima kissed the top of his head.

“Me too.” They held each other close, and Tsukishima felt all of a sudden, that he was way over his head. It was the same feeling he had had when he had been cornered by police, guns pointed at him. When he had had no choice but to surrender. 

He had entered a relationship - his first relationship - in the most difficult circumstances he could ever have picked. If they were found out it could ruin Yamaguchi’s career. Tsukishima himself would probably be transferred to another prison, mistrusted and would constantly be seen as somebody promiscuous who slept with guards. In the justice system, you must be seen as somebody trustworthy, somebody who has just made an honest mistake, in order to get the smallest sentence possible. He’d already committed a violent crime...if they found out that he was in a relationship like this...god, he couldn’t imagine what would happen. 

The bell rang, and the two of them looked at each other and reluctantly let go of one another. “I’ll...I’ll talk to you later,” Tsukishima murmured, backing away, heading back into the corridors, joining the prison population. 

 

Yamaguchi’s shift ended a little later, and he stripped his uniform, getting dressed and going back to his car without talking to anybody. Why did he like Tsukishima? He didn’t even know what he’d done. And that scared him. He entered his apartment dropping his bag by the door, wandering into the main room of the home, collapsing onto the sofa. “Long day at work?” Yachi asked, sipping from her mug. 

“Not really…” Yamaguchi bit his lip. “I met somebody...a guy.”

“At work?” Yachi enquired.

“Yeah…”

“And you like him?”

“Yeah…”

Yachi smiled, “A guard. You are talking about another guard, though, right? Like...not a prisoner.”

He felt a pit in his stomach. “Yeah. Of course another guard,”

His friend relaxed, “Oh, thank god. Because a prisoner...that would be bad.”

“Yeah. It would.” He stared at his phone as he opened up Google. He sucked in a breath, beginning to type in Tsukishima’s name. 

_ Tsukishima Kei Crime _

_ Tsukishima Kei Convicted _

_ Tsukishima Kei family _

_ The people vs Tsukishima Kei _

Yamaguchi looked at all of them, before shutting his browser. He wasn’t ready to know what he had done. He didn’t want to know. He really liked him, and he was scared that...finding out what he had done would ruin that.

Later on that evening, Iwaizumi was just getting off his shift. There were less guards around, and Tendou was the only other finishing his shift at the same time. Iwaizumi began to unbutton his shirt, paying no attention to the guard next to him. He removed his uniform shirt, putting it back in his locker. “That’s a new tattoo, isn’t it?” Tendou said suddenly. His eyes were drawn to the cancer sign on Iwa’s wrist. Iwaizumi looked at him, narrowing his eyes slightly. “Yeah.”

“Does it relate to anyone?”

“My girlfriend,” Iwaizumi’s lied naturally. That was how he explained any...marks that Oikawa had left. It was a long term lie of his.

“Looks very rough around the edges, not like the other ones you have,” Tendou added, gaging his reaction as he studied Iwaizumi’s face.

“New artist. I wanted to expand the art styles.” He put his shirt on, grabbing his bag from his locker. “Any other questions?” Tendou smiled, shaking his head. Iwa turned and left, going through security and heading to his car. He felt cold inside. There was a thick feeling of dread hanging over him, as he thought back to Tendou’s knowing look. He was going to have to be careful from now on. Very careful. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of conversations between the prisoners and their visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated twice in one day because I'm avoiding finishing an embroidery I'm doing of a Pomeranian dog. I love those dogs so much I don't want to fuck it up so I'm avoiding it.  
> That is also the reason why Tsukki has a pom in this fic. The pom pom will show up later on because I love her a lot and I will force my love of pomeranians on all of u  
> Her name is Pom and she is white and Tsukki has a terrible habit of dying her fur different colours because he is bored. She was a birthday present for him since he got such high test scores and he worked hard that year, and she is currently living with a somewhat reluctant Akiteru.  
> Anyway, this is a chapter to show more depth to some of the other prisoners. I have a whole substory for Kiyoko...but I'm not sure if I have too many substories running already...

Akiteru drummed his hands on the table. “So. How are you getting on with things?”

“Oh, good, you know. I’m friends with two murderers and a drug dealer. I think I’m setting myself up for a good set of friends when I eventually get out of prison.” Akiteru stiffened. 

“Are you studying? These...these seven years might be a good way to get ahead on maths courses.”

“Yeah, I’ve been studying. And I’m thinking about learning Chinese or Spanish as well. The library at the prison is really good.”

“That’s good. I’m sure mum and dad will be proud.”   
“Speaking of, where are mum and dad? They haven’t visited me at all and I’ve been here for what...half a year now?”

“They’re busy…”

“Yeah. But I get the feeling that they don’t wanna talk to me when I phone them.”

“That’s not true! They’ve just been busy, as all.”

“I don’t blame them for being angry with me,” Kei said, “And I don’t blame you for being angry with me, either. I know that I deserve to be hated. I embarrassed the family, I hurt people. I would just rather they tell me that they’re ashamed of me, then trying to hide it.”

Akiteru bit his lip. Kei had hit the nail on the head. “Will mum and dad support me when I get out?”

“Of course they will. You can come live with them until you find a job, and a place to stay.”

“I’ve really torn the family apart, though, haven’t I?”    
Akiteru drummed his fingers on the table. “They still love you.”

“They have to.”

Akiteru looked down. Kei knew how hard this had been on the family. There was so much expectancy for him. And he’d ruined it. He’d fallen, gotten into trouble, and was doing serious jail time. He’d...he’d ruined his life. He wanted to say something. He wanted to admit what he’d been holding in for so long.  _ This wasn’t my fault. I had reason. I couldn’t take this anymore. I needed to do something. I needed help. _

He opened his mouth, and then he shut it again. He had no evidence. Nothing. Nobody would believe him. There was nothing he could do. He shut his mouth, maintaining his silence. 

 

\----

“Hi! Mahiro! How is school going?” 

“It’s going good! We did painting at school today and my teacher said I was really good at it!”

“Ahh, really? Noriko, you’re going to have to mail me some of her art some time,” Suga said, turning to his sister’s foster-mother. “Of course, Koushi,” she said, smiling at the boy. Suga smiled at her, and then turned back to his sister, she had her hair in little pigtails. She looked adorable. “So! Are you making new friends? Is there anybody I should know about?” he asked.

“There’s this boy, and he comes and sits with me, and talk with me. He plays with me as well, he’s really cool! He’s good at football.”

“Ah, I’m glad. Is anyone being mean?”

“Uh...there’s just one girl. Who asks why I’m not with my parents..” Mahiro looked down at the table. Suga bit his lip. “You are with your parents. Noriko and Daiki are so good to you, and they’re raising you because they love you. That makes them your parents.”

“But they’re not your parents, and you’re my brother…”

“But I’m in here, Mahiro. Noriko is the one taking care of you, not me. She’s more like family to you.” Mahiro looked up, her bottom lip quivering. “You’re still my big brother though! You protected me!” Suga clenched his fists. “What I did was wrong. Hurting people is wrong. I told you that, didn’t I? I hurt people, and that’s a bad thing. I should have protected you in other ways. I did the wrong thing.”

“But you still...protected me…” Mahiro was getting upset, and Noriko sighed sadly.

“I’m pretty sure Daiki is waiting outside with the other guards, why don’t you go see him and calm down?” she said, standing up from the bench. “But! Koushi!” 

“I want to talk to Koushi for a little while by myself, is that okay?”

Mahiro looked between her adoptive mother and her brother, thinking. And then she took Noriko’s hand, and left to find her father. Noriko was escorted back in a few moments later by another guard. She sat down, looking at him. “She asks after you every day,” she said. Suga bit his lip.

“I really am sorry for this.”

“Sometimes she has nightmares, and she wakes up crying. She um...she got scared at school recently, we had to pick her up.”

Suga looked down into his lap, ashamed. “Are you getting help for her?”

“She’s going to see a therapist, yes,” Noriko confirmed. “It’s...is it really okay to keep telling her you’re a bad guy. It’s confusing her.”

“I  _ am  _ a bad guy,”

“But it’s not as simple as that, is it?” Noriko tucked some hair behind her ear, “When we took your sister in, we knew that we would have to take her to see you on a regular basis. We took your sister in, and we feel responsibility for her, and we feel responsibility for you, too.”

“It’s not your fault I’m like this. Just..make sure Mahiro grows up good, okay?”

“She is good. She works very hard in school, and she doesn’t fight. She’s a good kid, Koushi.”

“Thank god… I was so worried that I would rub off on her.”

“You’re a good kid too, Koushi. You just never got the chance to show your potential.”

His face twitched, “Good kids don’t kill their parents.”

\-----

“Akaashi! You’re doing okay!” Bokuto yelled, and Keiji smiled, reaching his hand across the table to hold his fiance’s hand. “Yes, Bokuto, I’m doing okay.”

“How’s everyone else? Your friends? Who’s the new kid...Tsukki? How’s he?”

“He is fine, Bokuto. I think he’s settling down just fine.”

“What did he do, anyway? He looks like a nice kid.”

“I...I don’t actually know,” Akaashi admitted. “That’s not the type of thing you ask in prison, you know?”

“Ah, really! Sorry.” 

Akaashi looked down, “Actually...Koutarou...I think we need to talk about something…”

Bokuto looked frightened. “What is it?”

“I...when I get out...I don’t think I want to keep working like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m in prison for about a year more. And...I was counting up, and I’ve been in and out of prison since I was sixteen. And I’m seeing kids as young as I used to be coming in, and I see people older than me coming in, who have spent more than half of their lives in prison. And I don’t want that to be me. I don’t want to waste my time in here. I want to spend my time in here. I wanna go clean,” he said. Bokuto swallowed.

“For real?”

“Yeah.”

“What...how can I help?”

Akaashi smiled. No matter what he did, how badly he got his ass beat, how badly he messed up, Bokuto was still willing to stay with him. “I’m...I need help getting back on my feet. With volunteer work and everything, so I can start getting more jobs. It’s going to be a lot of work. You’re probably going to be supporting the two of us for a while.”

“That’s fine! I can get another job or something! Don’t worry, Akaashi!” 

“Are you sure you can do that, Bokuto?”

“Yup! It’ll be great, when you’re doing different work! Maybe you can help with some school trips with me, and we can plan trips with more certainty. It’ll be great!” he leaned across the table to kiss Akaashi deeply, before a guard pulled him back. He smiled bashfully as he apologised. Akaashi twisted the ring on his finger, the ring which Koutarou had given him to show his dedication to him. Akaashi was lucky to have a man like him. He didn’t deserve him.

\----

Kageyama wrung his hands in his lap. “Why are you here?”

“You didn’t answer my letters.”

“Because… I need to leave you alone.”

“I don’t want you to ignore me, Kageyama.” He looked up, staring at the old man across from him. His face was still scarred, and he walked with a walking stick - the clear after effects of the attack. Kageyama remembered that night so well. The blood and the yelling. He could never forget it. “Are you feeling better?” he asked. 

“Well, I’m out of the hospital.”

“Out of the coma.Yes. If I’d been well enough this year, I would have gone to the trial.”

“It’s okay, the case went on just fine without you,” Kageyama looked at the table. He couldn’t look the man in the eye. “Well, apparently not.”

“...What do you mean?”

“You’re in prison. That’s not right.”

“I’m a part of the gang that attacked you.”

“But you did not attack me.”

“Yes...I did.”

“Don’t insult my memory,” the man said. “I remember that night, and I remember what you did. And my conscience won’t let me be silent while you sit in here.”

“It’s only five years, it doesn’t matter.”

“Five years is a lot of time for a crime you didn’t commit.” 

“It’s fine.”

“Why won’t you let me help you?”   
“I don’t need help. I’m guilty, I plead guilty at trial,” Kageyama looked up, indicating to the guard that he was ready to leave.

He left Ikkei Ukai sat at the table by himself. He clenched his fists, breathing out. This was not the end of it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a really shit chapter. :/

“So. About your...the man at work that you’re um..involved with. You are involved with him aren’t you? This isn’t just some crush? He likes you too, right?” Yachi babbled as she fumbled pouring her cereal into the bowl. “Yeah… I think so. I think he likes me. I mean...he said he did so.” God, it was impossible having him and Yachi together in an apartment. When one of them forgot an item off the shopping list it was a literal hour of apologies and counter-apologies. They were both terrible ramblers, it made awkward conversations even more awkward. “Right so...are you guys going on dates? I could um…. Go out, stay with a friend, and leave you two the apartment if you wanted…” she said. Yamaguchi realised what she was asking. “Oh, um. No. No. He doesn’t...he doesn’t seem to like sleeping with people. And he’s…”  _ He’s in prison. He has broken the fucking law and is incarcerated. He is in prisoner. He is no longer a free man.  _ “Busy. Really busy so...we’re having trouble fixing dates at the minute.” God, he hated lying to her. But Yachi seemed relieved that she didn’t have to give up her home for the night to Yamaguchi and his lover. 

He sighed as he pulled off his own t-shirt, taking his uniform out of the locker. “How’s things going with you?” Iwaizumi asked, subtly. Yamaguchi sighed,

“I...I told my roommate some things.”

“ _ What _ ?”

“Just that I met a guy here! She thinks it’s a guard! So now she keeps asking after him and it’s awkward.”

Iwaizumi nodded, “If you think that’s stressful, us supervisors have our hands full right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?” 

“Some indie filmmaker has approached the prison supervisor, wanting to develop a TV series about some of the prisoners.”

“Shoot, really?”

“Yeah. The head team think that it could be a good way of bringing income into the prison - they’ve offered quite a good offer for us to let them film. But I’m not too sure.”

“Why not?” Yamaguchi muttered, doing up the buttons on his shirt.

“Can you imagine Oikawa on a tv show? How much he’s going to fuss? TV shows like that, they either want to paint prisoners like they’re complete demons, or they want people to feel sympathy. It’s not that straightforward. And some of the guys in here...they’re angry and they’re dangerous. I don’t know if they’re fit for television.”

“Well then, surely the filmmaker can make decisions on who he wants or not.”

“It just seems like a lot of work. I’m not so sure.” 

Yamaguchi bit his lip, “I think it could be something good,”

“We’ll be having a discussion about it at a meeting, it still seems odd…” Iwa said, shutting his locker. Yamaguchi tucked his shirt into his trousers before shutting his locker and following Iwaizumi out.

 

“Guys!” Oikawa hissed as he wandered back into the yard, pulling his jacket closer around him. The usual group was hanging around in a corner, Suga, Kuroo and Akaashi smoking. Tsukishima was deliberately facing the opposite direction to them, trying not to think about the cigarettes. “What is it?” Kuroo asked, holding out the packet to Oikawa. “Iwa-chan told me some news. And what the fuck, Akaashi? I thought you didn’t smoke?”

“I am a social smoker.”

“I thought you said you quit smoking.”

“I’m having one last taste of freedom. Before I go clean.”

“You don’t have to stop drinking...or smoking. I thought you were just getting out of the drugs business.”

“Yeah but I’m the kind of all or nothing guy. If I let myself have something before you know it I’ll be back selling marijuana to confused college kids again,” Akaashi murmured, stubbing his cigarette out on the floor. “I can’t believe I’m dating Bokuto. You know he legitimately thought marijuana was pronounced Marriage iguana. He’s dating a fucking drug dealer, for god’s sake! How does someone even mispronounce something that badly?”

“Bokuto’s so cute you really struck gold there. He’s too innocent for you,” Kuroo muttered. “I wanna meet him when I get out of prison. You need to invite me round sometime, I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Anyway! Guys! Iwa-chan told me some news!” Oikawa said as Suga passed him the lighter. “Some dude’s coming in to see about a TV show! About us!”

“Us as in...the prisoners right, not your illicit relationship?” 

“Yes, the prisoners obviously,” Oikawa rolled his eyes. “Isn’t that great?”

Akaashi bit his lip, “Maybe for you all with the long term sentences, but I am not getting my face on the TV I don’t want to remembered as that shitty dealer.” 

“I’m sure you can deny it, Akaashi. They’re not going to force you into going on TV.” 

“This is so exciting, though! Something interesting is finally going to be happening!” 

Before long Oikawa’s news had spread all around the prison, and everyone was buzzing about the show. Rumours got around fast in prison. Nobody really had anything else to do except talk.

There was really not a lot to do in prison. Tsukishima had reluctantly decided to use his prison time to expand his knowledge. Maybe he was going to learn a new language. He certainly had time to start, at the very least. He wasn’t going to learn manual skills - he wasn’t somebody suited to manual work. So knowledge and degrees was his only way to work. He sat at a table along with Akaashi and Kenma, who clearly both had the same idea of expanding knowledge as him. It was quiet at their table, but their usual table was filled with laughter and joking. They were playing card games again, and talking. That was all they could really do. 

And then Tendou came in, cornered by two other guards. “Oikawa Tooru!” he barked, drawing the attention of the entire room. “I have some information that you haven’t been taking your medication?”

Oikawa threw his cards down on the table. “Yes. I’m switching medication. I have a note from my doctor about it.”

“But the guards are under the impression that you are meant to still be taking them. And you’ve been going against prison guards.”

“Because the prison psychiatrist said I’m switching,” Oikawa said, standing up. “You can go and ask her right now. I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“Since you’re so sure you’re not meant to be taking them, I’m worried that you may be stock piling the pills. I want to search you and your cell,” Tendou said, smirking.

“That’s uncalled for. I have not done anythi-”

“Your cellmate is a drug dealer, forgive me if I don’t believe that.”

“Don’t you dare bring Akaashi into this!” 

“Are you yelling because you’re off your bipolar meds or because you’re disobeying orders from an officer?” The room was silent. Oikawa was fuming. “My health problem are not something to be yelled about!” he was practically screaming at the top of his lungs. “My medication is meant to be switching! I am not doing anything wrong!” 

“You’re...yelling at a guard. I think that warrants punishment, don’t you?” Tendou asked, stepping forward.

“Back off, you’re antagonizing him.”

“Oh. I’m antagonizing a prisoner? Why don’t you step away, Sugawara unless you want to be punished as well?” 

Suga slammed his fist on the table, looking away. Tendou beckoned Oikawa forward, “Come here then, Oikawa. We’re going to have a chat outside.”

“No! I haven’t done anything wrong! You need to go and sort this out with the psychiatrist before you come over here and accuse me!” Tendou cocked his head, smirking as he reached out and grabbed Oikawa. Oikawa yelled, trying to push him off. The entire table got up, and Akaashi flung his book down, running to the defence of Oikawa, trying to get Tendou off. The two other guards grabbed him and Suga, pulling them off. “Calm down, Sugawara, Akaashi, I’m not sure if you two want to be taken in for punishment as well.” Tendou shoved Oikawa against the table, pushing it several inches away with the sheer force he was using. Akaashi and Sugawara had been restrained on the floor, Tendou yelling over the top of Oikawa’s shrieks. “I have handcuffs in here and I will restrain you if you resist anymore, I’m warning you.” He pulled Oikawa up, half-carrying, half-dragging him away from the library. Oikawa was hysteric as he tried to pull himself out of his grip, and Tsukishima could see it was more than anger he was feeling now. There was genuine fear in the way he was writhing. “Now, now, settle down inmate, or are we going to have to book you back into the psych ward?” he yelled, pulling Oikawa out of the room. After several minutes, the guards restraining Sugawara and Akaashi let go, following Tendou out the door. “Fuck!” Suga yelled, slamming his fists down on the table. Akaashi’s face was red, his chest rising and falling. “What the fuck just happened?” Tsukishima asked, running over to the table.

“I’m gunna kill him. I’m going to kill that asshole,” Suga was hissing.

“Suga, no, I know this is bad but-” Daichi said, reaching out to him.

“How dare he do that to Oikawa?! Oikawa hasn’t done  _ anything _ !” He screamed. 

“What is going on?” Tsukishima asked again, in a smaller voice. Akaashi turned to look at him. 

“Tendou is… he can’t do that - that’s not even allowed!” Sugawara was still ranting.

“Tendou’s always been mean to Oikawa. If he has an opportunity to bust him, or to punish him, he will.”

“What was he talking about? With the medication?” 

“Oikawa’s...Oikawa has spent some time in a psychiatric hospital. He’s been on medication, but he’s switching now - he has a note from the prison psychiatrist and everything. There is no  _ reason  _ for Tendou to do that!” Akaashi ran a hand through his hair. 

“What are we going to do? Tendou can’t get away with doing something like that,” Tsukishima said.    
“We gotta find another guard. Iwaizumi, or Yamaguchi, because Oikawa doesn’t deserve to be punished like that!” Akaashi mumbled. Sugawara was still angrily muttering to himself, Daichi and Kuroo both trying to calm him down. “I think Yamaguchi is overseeing kitchen duty at the minute, we can go and try to find him.” Akaashi was already storming out of the library before he could finish the sentence, and Tsukishima ended up running after him.

He hadn’t really given proper thought about entering the kitchen. Sugawara had kept his word on covering him for kitchen duty, and Tsukishima was able to avoid it. Out of any of the places he felt worried about being in - it was the kitchen, Akaashi pulled open the door, holding it open for him. “Is he over there?” Akaashi asked, and Tsukishima nodded. “Can you um...do the explaining? I’d rather stay here,” he said. Akaashi shrugged, watching him carefully before beckoning over to Yamaguchi. Tsukishima hung back by the door, gripping his arms so tight he was going to have bruises. He wanted to shut his eyes, and get out of here as soon as possible. Akaashi was talking to Yamaguchi, and the guard’s eyes kept drifting over to him as he told his story. Once, Akaashi was finished he wandered over to Tsukishima as he waited at the door. “Is it true? What Akaashi is saying?” he asked.

“Yes. I just saw it happen...Tendou was being so cruel to him.”

Yamaguchi swallowed hard. “Right. I’ll go talk to my supervisor right now, see if there’s something we can do.” He made to reach for the door, and then he stopped. “Are you alright, Kei?” he asked, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “Fine,” he lied smoothly. Yamaguchi didn’t look like he believed him, but he left anyway, speeding down the hallway towards the offices. 

“Do you think that will make a difference?” Akaashi asked as they made their way to the dining hall.   
“Yamaguchi will try and do the right thing.” 

Akaashi smiled somewhat, shaking his head. “If Iwaizumi had seen what Tendou was doing...I don’t think we could have stopped him.” They joined the rest of their group as they sat down for dinner. Sugawara was quieter than usual, staying on the end of the table, close to Daichi. Everything seemed to...start to be going back to normal.

And then the prison governor walked in, followed by several guards. Yamaguchi was there, looking visibly shaken. The guards called for silence in the hall, and the governor waiting until everybody was looking at him before he continued. “We’ve had some trouble in the prison, recently.” He said. Akaashi’s face lit up. He couldn’t see Tendou amongst the crowd. Maybe they were doing something. But Oikawa also hadn’t come back either. “Some prisoners who seemed to be thinking that it’s okay to blur the lines of authority that guards have. And I want to make it very, very clear. That no relationship between guard or prisoner will be tolerated. And anybody who is discovered to be breaking that rule will be punished, gravely. One prisoner and one guard have already been punished, and a detailed investigation will be going on in the coming months. That is all,” he said, walking out.

There was silence in the hall. Tsukishima was trying not to show the panic he was feeling. And the others at the table were trying not to show any sign of knowing about anything the governor was talking about. But it was so hard to maintain normality. It took everything he had to continue eating without his hands shaking. It took everything he had to not crumble.

Everything was going bad again. What was he going to do?

 

It was a blur for Yamaguchi, as he dressed in his normal clothing and walked to his car. His legs felt shaky. He felt like he was going to be sick. He tried to push back all of the thoughts in his mind, tried to concentrate on the road in front of him. He drove into his apartment’s parking lot, got out of his car and walked into the building, and up to his apartment. He shut the door slowly, dropping his bag at the door. “Yamaguchi? Is that you?” Yachi walked out of the kitchen area, stopping when she saw her friend. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

It was about two seconds before Yamaguchi broke down entirely. He burst into tears, covering his face as he sobbed. “I messed up...I messed up really badly…” he whimpered as Yachi wrapped her arms around him, trying to comfort him. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> filler chapter.  
> Idk where I am going with this. Well I do but like...not in a good, formatted way. So bear with me.

Yachi reached out to her flatmate as he collapsed to the floor, sobbing. “Yamaguchi! What’s wrong? What’s happening?” she asked, her hands resting on his knees. He brushed his hands over his eyes, trying to stop his tears. “I...the man I was dating...he’s not a guard. He’s a prisoner,” he sobbed, so confused with his tears that he had to gasp out for air. He felt dizzy. Yachi froze. “What do you mean?”

“I messed up. And I started dating a prisoner. But my friend...Iwaizumi...he was too. And they found out. And he’s been suspended,” he cried. “And they’re gunna look into all of the other guards, and they’re going to find out and I’m gunna lose my job!” 

Yachi gnawed her lip. She was scared for him. “Not necessarily...if you were careful about it.” She reached out, patting his head. She felt so useless. “But I think you need to break it off, for now at least.” He looked at her in a moment of calm. “I’m...I’m… I’m so stupid,” he sighed, drying his tears again.

“No you’re not.”

“I don’t know why I should...why I did that. I knew it was bad and it was only always going to come back to bite me…”

“You’re gunna be okay, Yamaguchi.”

“What happens if I lose my job, Yachi? What am I going to do?” he whimpered. She sighed. She didn’t know. She was panicking as well, in the grand scheme of things. She was very scared for him. This wasn’t something either of them did. They weren’t that kind of people. “You won’t. You were careful, right? Why did...why did your friend get caught?”

Yamaguchi thought back. He had been going to the office of some of the governors, trying to say that Tendou was assaulting prisoners and that he needed to be stopped, but he heard Tendou in the office. Pointing out Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s matching tattoos. Pointing out the time the both of them were conveniently missing. And Iwaizumi and Oikawa were both silent. They couldn’t dispute it. And then Yamaguchi had backed off because suddenly it all made sense. Why Tendou was always so cold towards Iwaizumi and Oikawa. He was suspicious of them. He’d found out.

“They’d got tattoos...together…”

“You didn’t do that with your boyfriend, right?”

“No...we don’t even see each other that much…”

“Then you won’t get caught. You’ll be safe,” Yachi insisted. “You just need to stop seeing him.” Yamaguchi’s lips twitched. “But I really like him…”

“For now. You’ve got to lay low for now.” Yamaguchi nodded, thinking about her words seriously. “I guess…” he sniffed, pulling himself together. “I need to check on my friend.” He said eventually, pulling himself off the floor. Yachi stood for a second, watching him. He dialled Iwaizumi’s number, his hands were shaking with worry. “Yamaguchi?” he picked up.

“Iwaizumi! Are you okay?”

“Yes...I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I can get another job. And I can write to Oikawa,” he licked his lips, “What are you going to do about Tsukishima?”

“I’m...we’re going to have to lay low.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand. I’m sorry, Yamaguchi. I messed things up for you.”

“No! I’m...I’ll watch over Oikawa, make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble.”

Iwaizumi chuckled, “Thanks. He’s going to be angry. You’re...you might need to protect Tendou from him, actually.” Yamaguchi clicked his tongue. “I know, I know. That man is going to be hard to protect considering what he’s done, but it’s going to be a whole lot worse if Oikawa kills him.” At first Yamaguchi thought that was a joke. And then he realised it was deadly serious. Oikawa was capable of that. “Has he done that before?”

“Not...in prison but. Yes. He has.”

Yamaguchi froze. Iwaizumi sighed, “You’re wondering how I could love a murderer, aren’t you?” he asked.

“No! I mean… I um…” he bit his lip. “I’ll look after him,” Yamaguchi said. Turning off the phone.

 

Yachi was waiting for him patiently on the sofa. “How is he?”

“He seems to be taking it well.” Yamaguchi brushed a hand through his hair. “Maybe I’ll...he can help me out, if I lose my job.” Yachi sighed with relief.

“See? It’s not so bad?” she said, smiling. He nodded, sitting down on the sofa. She paused, “Do you...do you want to tell me about him? Your boyfriend?” she asked. Yamaguchi thought for a moment, and then smiled.

“I um...I don’t really know much about him to be honest. He tells me about his family, briefly, and his dog and his high school life. I don’t know much about you...his sentencing.”

“What’s his name?”

“Tsukishima Kei. Please don’t look him up.”

“Why?” Yachi asked, frowning. Yamaguchi bit his lip.

“I...I’m scared of finding out what he did. What if it was bad?”

“How long is his sentence?” 

“Seven years.” 

“Then that can’t be like...murder,” she reassured him. Yamaguchi bit his lip.

“You’ve already googled him, haven’t you?” he asked. Yachi glanced at him, nodding slowly. He sighed, covering his face. “Do you want to know?” she asked. He let out a shaky breath.

“...I have to face up to it at some point, don’t I?”

She looked down at the page of information. “He was arrested for arson,” she said.

“Oh. Well that’s not that bad. Why did he get seven years?”

“He also grievously assaulted a man. Prior to his arrest.”

“What...what circumstances?”

“He burned down the home of his tutor, whilst the tutor and his family were away on holiday. And...as one of the neighbours tried to apprehend him, he beat the man.”

Yamaguchi pressed his lips together. He couldn’t...imagine it. He couldn’t imagine him burning down someone’s house out of malice. “What...why did he do it?” he asked. Yachi shook her head.

“It doesn’t really...oh.”

“What?”

“It says at trial, it came out that Tsukishima has quite a serious obsession with fire. He um...he has a lot of very serious burns to his body. From experimentations.” 

Yamaguchi knew that Kei had always been reluctant for him to touch him. He always had his arms and legs covered....and now it actually made sense. It was because he’d burnt himself. He was ashamed of it. Yamaguchi felt a pit in his stomach open up. “Oh.” Yachi looked up at him expectantly. He didn’t know what to think. He knew that Tsukishima had hurt other people. He knew that. He couldn’t change that. He felt like he should have been scared. But he couldn’t fathom it. Tsukishima was always so soft and gentle with him, he had no reason to be scared. Yachi put her phone down. “You really trust him, don’t you?”

“I just...I know that he’s done bad things but-”

“It’s fine, you don’t need to explain it to me,” Yachi smiled. “If you trust him, I trust him. And I’ll support you.” She bit her lip. “I’m...I know why you didn’t tell me first off, and that’s fine. But I’m really happy you could trust me with this.” 

He nodded, feeling tired with all of the emotion that had surged through him. He was still scared, but he felt like he could manage it. 

 

Things at the prison could have not been more different. Oikawa was gone. In isolation, and nobody was telling them anything. Akaashi was frightened for him. Tendou would do anything to make sure that Oikawa suffered. They just wanted to know where he was. How long he was going to be gone. That night was a long, sleepless night for everyone. Kageyama and Tsukishima lay awake in their bunks across from each other, a heavy atmosphere of fear hanging over them. “Are you okay?” Kageyama asked quietly, rolling over in his bed so he was facing Tsukishima.

“I’m fine,” he replied, continuing to stare up at the ceiling. 

“I’m really scared,” Kageyama admitted. Tsukishima sighed,

“I am too.” 

“What are you going to do?”

“Ignore him. Break it off. There’s nothing else I can do,” he rubbed his face, groaning. “I wish I’d never done anything wrong now. I wish I wasn’t in prison.”

Kageyama nodded in the darkness, “Me too.” He rolled back onto his back. “What do you miss most?” 

“My own bed. I really miss my own bed. Like how the sheets can smell of the detergent you want. I didn’t think I’d miss that.”

“I miss being able to text people,” Kageyama said. “I never really phoned people before. Just texted. So...having to phone my parents, or something, that’s harder.”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima sighed. “I guess...we deserve this though, right?” He didn’t believe a word of what he was saying.

There was a constant voice in his head, always telling him he was deserving exactly what he got. There was always the voice of his victim telling him that he never deserved to be treated like a human. He had done a bad, awful thing. And for that, he deserved the pain he was under.

But that voice was exactly that. A voice in his head. A voice from somebody Tsukishima did not trust. And yet for some reason, his voice kept making Kei doubt himself. He didn’t want to listen anymore. Yamaguchi was the best thing that had happened in his life. And he was tired of being unhappy. He was tired of living in guilt. 

He did not deserve this.

“Yeah…” Kageyama spoke airily, not believing a word either. He did not deserve this either.


	11. Chapter 11

There was a heavier guard presence, and less leniency in the days after Iwaizumi was suspended. Sugawara and Akaashi were questioned, as they were both the closest to Oikawa. All Tsukishima could do was wait. Wait, and see if anybody gave him away. Sugawara was protective over him. He wouldn't leave him alone until he absolutely had to. It was clear he was prepared to fight if he had to. Tsukishima imagined that that was just the type of person he was. He was raised to fight his problems, and maybe that was how Sugawara had always resolved things. Maybe that was why he was in prison. A week passed, and nobody had approached Tsukishima, so he assumed he was in the clear. He saw Yamaguchi many times, and it was difficult to try and not make contact with him. He couldn’t do anything. He didn’t even know if Yamaguchi wanted to keep seeing him or not. And that was making him anxious. Tsukishima liked to know where he stood, he didn’t like surprises and he didn’t like not knowing. It was always on his mind, tantalizing him. And he was getting frustrated because no matter how much he thought about it, he wouldn’t know the answer. 

Oikawa came back to prison population after two weeks of punishment, and he looked very different. He’d been away for a relatively short time, but the change was visible. He looked thinner, more tired. He looked twitchy. But most of all he looked angry. He joined the population during Hinata’s art class, when Tsukishima was trying desperately hard not to draw a portrait of Yamaguchi. Oikawa entered, accompanied by a guard, and the room went silent for a moment. Everybody knew what he’d done with Iwaizumi now. It was common knowledge, and there was a lot of different reactions. Some people thought there was nothing wrong with what he was doing, and others thought he was disgusting. One thing was for certain: the whole ordeal had put a target on Oikawa’s back. Sugawara waved to Oikawa as he came in, but Oikawa’s eyes scanned the faces of those in the ground before resting on Tsukishima. He kept his eyes on him, and Tsukishima stared back. His heart started beating fast. Oikawa was staring at him with such an intensity, it was scary. And he made his way down the gap between the desks, his eyes fixed. He gained speed as he got closer, and Tsukishima just had time to stand up before Oikawa had shoved him into the wall. He was snarling at him, pinning him to the wall. Tsukishima wanted him to get off, to get away, but Oikawa was too strong and he was far too weak. Oikawa’s hand was on his throat, and it was suddenly so hard to breathe. “You,” Oikawa hissed, “You turned us in, didn’t you? You got rid of Iwa-chan. It was you, wasn’t it, you jealous little bitch,”

Tsukishima was trying to claw his way out, his mind racing back to past memories. Scary memories of being pinned, being powerless underneath somebody else. He wanted to be sick, he wanted to cry. He wanted the memories to get out of his head. He was writhing with sheer fear, trying to get away. Suga ended up trying to pull Oikawa off, whispering reassurances in his ear that Tsukishima hadn’t snitched - that he had no reason to snitch, but Tsukishima couldn’t hear it. His eyes were shut tight but he could see the images so clear. He could see the memories like they were happening all over again. One of the guards heard the commotion, bursting in. “Oikawa!” Yamaguchi barked, and Tsukishima finally snapped out of his trance. “You just got out of punishment, and I do not want to put you back there!” Oikawa let go of Tsukishima, and he quickly ducked under his arm, racing past Yamaguchi into the hall. He didn’t make it far before he was caught by other guards, who quickly restrained him. “I’m gunna be sick,” he murmured, his stomach turning. The guards weren’t listening. Yamaguchi came out into the hallway, looking at the commotion. “What was that?” he asked, kneeling down next to Tsukishima.

“I’m gunna be sick,” Tsukishima said again, with much more urgency. He started heaving, and Yamaguchi got out of the way before he threw up. Yamaguchi ended up taking him to the medical room. “Are you okay?” he whispered quietly. 

“I feel so sick..” he whispered back. They got to the medical bay, and waiting outside the door for a moment. “We’re still together, aren’t we?”

“I’m...if you want to then yes. Yes we are,” Tsukishima murmured. Yamaguchi smiled, 

“I’m glad.” he said before knocking on the door to the medical bay.

 

Tsukishima didn’t know what to say to the doctor on duty. He hadn’t eaten anything wrong, hadn’t taken any new medication, he hadn’t been feeling ill previously. The sickness in his stomach had come from memories from a long time ago. Memories that he hadn’t told anybody. And breaking his silence now would lead to so much upset. He was going to have to stay quiet. It was better that way.

He ended up dismissed from all over activity, instead resting for the day to prevent infection possibly spreading between him and any other prisoner. 

Bruises on his neck and shoulders had come through by the end of the day. “Those look bad,” Kageyama commented as he got back into the cell. Tsukishima shrugged, “I bruise easily. It’s nothing really. He didn’t hit me too hard.”

“You looked scared,” Kageyama commented, watching him.

“So? Wouldn’t you be if a murderer had pinned you to a wall?” he snapped back, getting into bed.

 

Akiteru visited the next day, and he immediately noticed the bruises on his neck. “What happened?” he cried, and Kei shrugged. “I had a little bit of a run in with another guy yesterday, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal? You have bruises all over you!” 

“It’s just on my neck and my shoulders, it’s not all over.”

“What happened? Why did he attack you?”

“He thought I’d snitched on him, he got in trouble for sleeping with a guard,” he dismissed. Akiteru frowned,

“Well he’s got no one to blame but himself for doing something that stupid…” he muttered. Kei froze for a moment. He knew he was right, but he couldn’t help but feel that it was directed at him. 

Oikawa wasn’t punished, and to be honest, Tsukishima was glad about that. Oikawa had been through a rough enough time, and he really didn’t blame him for the attack. He was angry, and he wanted to blame somebody. Oikawa was detached from the group the next day. He looked broken and dejected, and he thought it must have been because Iwa wasn’t there. But it wasn’t.

“He’s not allowed to appeal his case anymore,” Sugawara muttered during conversation, and Tsukishima looked over. “What?”

“Oikawa appeals a lot,” Suga explained.

“Why?” 

“Because he thinks he’s been wrongly convicted.”

“Like...he didn’t actually commit the murder?”

“No, he thinks it was self defence and he shouldn’t have gotten twenty years for it.”

“But people don’t believe him?”

Suga bit his lip. “There was no evidence that the man Oikawa stabbed...that he was stalking him. And you would have thought there would be at least  _ some  _ evidence.”

“So you don’t believe him?”

“I...I would if there was more evidence. I will support him, but I don’t think I would believe him, if I was on a jury.” 

Tsukishima had always thought that Oikawa was a murderer and that was that. He didn’t seem bothered about being in prison, but it seemed like it was important to him. “Does he believe that it wasn’t his fault? Or is it just a lie?” he asked. Sugawara shrugged.

“He really seems to believe it.” 

Tsukishima couldn’t imagine spending so long in prison, let alone not deserving that time. It seemed...impossible to deal with. And now Iwaizumi, one of Oikawa’s closest confidents, was being taken away too. He didn’t know how he was going to cope. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I'll do a back story for Oikawa next time ;)  
> I got my results back yesterday. I failed two subjects, and not even the two that I had fits before so lmao.   
> I actually got a B in maths tho so???? I can't even REMEMBER taking the first paper, my pain relief was that intense. I missed out on an A* English Literature, but to be fair, I got home from the hospital at like 4am before that exam so I suppose that's fair enough. I can do all of the subjects I hoped to do at A level though, so that will be fine.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im dead. College has started Im dying. (When I say college I mean the British version of college. Im 16, not 18 so its not that serious with the workload)  
> Also my health has really deteriorated and at this point I'm only somewhat able to walk. :')  
> I could rant forever abt my own life if y'all wanna find out more then just come and chat me up on tumblr  
> anri-kun.tumblr.com  
> I also got a new laptop thank the lord n I managed to save my communist russia powerpoint Im so glad  
> Thx for reading my shit writing n putting up with my babbling. <3

Oikawa sat on his sofa, in the dark. His hand tapping on his thigh. The curtains were closed, the light was off. He sat there. He could hear the clock ticking. He could hear shuffling from the floor above him, and he jumped, looking around. He didn’t remember the last time he slept properly, slept soundly. Usually he passed out at around four am from exhaustion. He used to go to work. But he’d been laid off. He was too on edge. Too jumpy to work.

He was going to come back. He was going to come back and he was going to hurt him again. He’d talked to the police and they hadn’t…they hadn’t done anything.

He didn’t think they’d believed him.

He just wanted somebody to believe him.

He wasn’t making it up. He wasn’t making any of it up.

The fact that he was diagnosed with a mental illness was…miniscule. It really had nothing to do with the entire situation.

They met at the doctor’s office, though.

They met there.

And the man had dropped his bag, and all his belongings had gone everywhere, and Oikawa had helped him pick them up, and he’d talked to him for a little bit, but not a lot. It was awkward. Well, Oikawa found it awkward. He didn’t like talking to people in the doctor’s office, waiting for his appointment with the psychiatrist. Because everyone else who came in was there for the exact same thing. And Oikawa just didn’t like to talk, knowing that they had that commonality.

He had been doing well, those last few months. Before, a little while before, he had felt crushed. Unable to move on, but things were going better for him. He was getting back on track. And that was good.

And then…this man. He came in and he ruined that.

They’d started running into each other. At the coffee shop. At the pharmacy. At shops. And that was okay, at first. But time, after time, day after day. And Oikawa just knew that it wasn’t a coincidence.

And then there were phone calls. Just silent phone calls. Breathing.

And he could cope for that. It was stressful, it was scary, but Oikawa could manage that.

But one night when he was going to bed, he looked out of the window, and saw a man standing on the street, looking straight up at him.

And that was when Oikawa had called the police the first time. But they hadn’t traced the calls, and tried to convince him that if this man wasn’t hurting him, he would be no danger.

What a load of bullshit.

Oikawa stopped getting a proper night’s sleep now that he knew that man was out there. He bought a secondary lock for his front door, and tried to keep the curtains closed at all times. He had started to slip, people were noticing mistakes in work, and he tried his best to cover it.

 

And then he was attacked.

 

He was coming back from a long shift at work, thinking about what he was going to be doing the next day. Things had been good the last few days and the last thing on his mind was the stalker. His apartment block was quiet, most of his neighbours already home for the day. It was dark as well – the lights hadn’t been working in the corridors for a while. They really needed to get that fixed.

Oikawa was just starting to go up the stairs when he was grabbed. It didn’t…register at first. He thought that maybe he’d fallen from the steps, but he was starting to be dragged back. The arm around his neck was choking him, and Oikawa’s mind was racing so fast he didn’t know what he was thinking. He was trying to scream but he couldn’t get it out. He started kicking out, hitting at whatever he could. The person who had grabbed him dropped him to the floor, and Oikawa immediately screamed out, his voice choked and weak. Somebody had to hear him. He wasn’t going down without a fight. His attacker tried to subdue him again, but Oikawa was not going to let him get a hold of him again. Oikawa was screaming at top volume, striking out. His attacker was above him, beating down on him. Oikawa managed to keep conscious. He was bleeding and bruised, but he was safe. He stared his attacker in the face, before the man had run and left, trying to avoid capture.

It was him.

Oikawa had had his suspicions before, but now he was sure.

His neighbours came out, seeing him on the floor bleeding. He went to the hospital, he answered their questions. He gave them a description of the man, and that was all he could do. Oikawa hadn’t asked for a name when he’d met the man.

Since then he hadn’t been going to work. He probably didn’t even have a job anymore. He didn’t know. He’d stopped collecting the post, stopped answering the phone. When he did go out, he went out early in the morning to get food, and then he returned, waiting. He knew he couldn’t live like this forever, but for now, the fear was overwhelming. The police were not going to do their job. He was on his own, and that was terrifying. He slept for only a couple of hours at a time, he bought a third lock for his door.

 

Things truly began to fall apart for Oikawa on one of his trips out to the shop. He was quick, and it was five O’clock in the morning, the sun was only just beginning to get light outside. It was grey when Oikawa returned to his block, quickly making his way up the stairs. He was fiddling to try and find his keys when he found the door already open.

Oikawa had thought this day would come.

He opened the door slowly, finding the main room empty. He made his way to the kitchen area, putting the bag down slowly, his hand hovering for a moment over the knife draw. Was he ready for this? Could he call the police? They wouldn’t get here on time. He had to do it. He pulled the draw open, pulling out a carving door. He stood for a moment, hidden in the kitchen, staring at the knife in his hand. He was shaking.

And then he heard the door shut and lock.

He was in the next room.

Oikawa had to do this.

He tried to steady his shaking hand.

The man was standing in the middle of Oikawa’s living room, back to the kitchen, looking around. And a white hot rage filled Oikawa. This man had destroyed his social life, his job, his sense of security. He had ruined his _life_. Oikawa was filled with a panic and a rage that completely took over him. He wasn’t thinking when he lunged at the man, sinking the knife into his shoulder. He cried out, and the man crumbled, but wasn’t completely on the floor, and Oikawa raised the knife again, completely panic stricken as he plunged it into the back of his neck. As the man fell Oikawa was overcome as he brought the knife down and down again. He wanted this man to leave him alone. To just _go away_.

He stopped when he was out of breath. The whole encounter had lasted maybe two minutes, but it felt like it had been hours. Oikawa looked at the mess, the pool of blood around him. Tooru’s own hands were covered in blood, his face, his clothes…everything.

“What have I done…” he whispered, running a hand through his hair, “What have I done?”

His first thought was that he was going to have to clean up. He ran to the kitchen, dropping the knife in the sink, and he thought about going to get the cleaning supplies before he collapsed onto the floor, sobbing.

It was over.

His life was over.

He’d killed this man, he was going to go to prison.

Everything was over.

This man had destroyed his life, taken everything from him…and now he was taking his life from him too.

He could run but…his neighbours would have heard the commotion, would have called the police. He’d never make it anywhere. So he was stuck here, with a dead body in his flat.

He heard the sirens no more than a few minutes later, and Oikawa had composed himself, as he sat on the sofa, staring at the body. The police broke in, demanding him to get on the ground.

 

He only learned his attacker’s name when he was taken into custody.

Wakatoshi Ushijima.

He was about the same age as Oikawa was. He had a devastated wife and one daughter who was turning two in a few months. And yet Tooru couldn’t – wouldn’t feel sympathy for him. He didn’t deserve it.

But that didn’t seem to be what anybody else thought.

The police disregarded his story, no one listened to him. The newspapers didn’t even print it.

It took the jury no less than an hour to convict him.

No less than an hour, and his life was taken away from him.

He felt like his life was worth more of a review than just less than an hour.

Maybe not.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on the home stretch fam  
> College is weird B)  
> I messed up in like my 2nd theatre studies class n Im so embarrassed I want to legit like never go back again so just kill me now   
> I update you all w/my life bc I have no friends lol so bear with me  
> THis is a short chapter bc as I write this I'm literally having stabbing pains in my chest and I wanted to finish this today so tadaa its short bc I dont wanna write on pain relief :3  
> THx pals for keepin up with me even tho Im a lil shit  
> U can send me messages or stuff on tumblr bc I am lonely <3  
> [Here is the link pals](http://anri-kun.tumblr.com/)

After all of the things that had happened, everyone had forgotten all about the idea of a TV documentary being filmed at the prison.

Until the warden decided to tell them that the director was going to be going in and interviewing those who wanted to be in the documentary, and those who didn’t. “He has a list of those who he’s interested in, from his own research, and you’ll probably be spoken to first.”

Tsukishima sat there on his own, knowing that he wouldn’t be picked. Nobody would want to talk to a lowly arsonist. They were going to want to talk to the murderers. Oikawa and Sugawara would be top of his list, surely. No one was going to be interested in him. And he was glad about it. Tsukishima was young – he was still – as many of the other prisoners liked to remind him – he was still a teenager. Yes, he may or may not have managed to book himself for a seven year long stay in an institution, but he was still only going to be twenty-five when he got out. He still had to get work, and continue living. Akaashi seemed to have much of the same thoughts, as he straight up refused to even meet with the director. As excepted, Sugawara and Oikawa were some of the first people to be asked in, and both of them were eager to get involved. “Unlike you kids, we’ve got nothing else to do all day,” Suga murmured.

“Yeah, when we get out we’ll be 50 to 60-year-old men, and by then no one will want to hire us anyway,” Oikawa continued.

“He offered us money, so how could we deny? I’m going to need money when I retire from being a full time prisoner.”

“Oh Suga, you’re actually retiring? I was thinking about just shoplifting, I can’t live without prison anymore. Marketing? I don’t even remember that old place anymore,” Oikawa murmured.

“Oh, Oikawa, you worked in marketing?” Akaashi asked. The group was quieter. No one had really heard anything before from Oikawa. They’d always had to read for themselves, he’d never said anything, even when asked. “Yeah, yeah. Worked my way up all the way through to one of the top people. ‘Course that was before I ruined it all, but y’know,” Oikawa waved a hand dismissively, “Who hasn’t messed up a job by murdering somebody?”

“Amen to that,” Suga said quietly. “But I didn’t really have a career. I worked as a cashier at some supermarket, you know. Didn’t really have anything to lose.”

 

Tsukishima refused to talk, but Kageyama didn’t. He had said – quite vocally, as well – that he didn’t want to be involved, but he also said that he wanted to explain his reasons why in person.

Kageyama was one of the final people to be brought back into that room, and he was shaking as he walked in. Ennoshita, the director, the filmmaker. He sat there. And so was the warden of the prison. “Kageyama Tobio, nice to meet you,” Ennoshita stood, standing with his hand outstretched. It took Kageyama a moment before he realised that he was meant to shake his hand. He hadn’t had his hand shaken in a long time. “You are…quite different, to every other prisoner in this prison.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Ennoshita gave him a somewhat patronising look. “I have a letter. From the Ukai family. They heard that I was going to do a documentary about this prison, and they desperately wanted to tell me about the situation at hand.” He mulled over it, before looking up at Kageyama.

“I…I don’t know what they’re talking about,” he said.

“Now, Kageyama. You’re facing a five-year prison sentence. And this letter… this testimony is huge. This could prove you innocent, you know that, right?” the warden said. The two of them stared at Kageyama very seriously. He wriggled in his seat, looking down at the table. “With this…you could get a retrial. This could change your life.”

“I…I don’t have the money for a retrial. For the lawyers…and stuff.”

“See, that’s where we come in,” Ennoshita leaned forward. “My producer is…more than happy to pay for all of the legal support you could need during the trial. We’re making a series about prison, and we think that…it would be very interesting to see the idea of a retrial. During the show.” Ennoshita explained. Kageyama wrung his hands in his lap. “My…the gang I was in…” he murmured.

The warden and Ennoshita exchanged glances. “Listen, Kageyama,” the warden was speaking very softly. “If you give a statement to the police, about what happened that night, we will…we will see about getting protective custody for you. So your previous gang members can’t find you – you’ll be fine.”

Kageyama bit his lip. “I need to think about it.”

Ennoshita looked a little bit disappointed, but he nodded, understanding. And Kageyama was led back to his cell. Tsukishima looked up from his book. “What’re you so glum about? What did they say?”

Kageyama bit his lip, “Can I…just…say something?”

“Like what?”

“I was in a gang. And that gang…I was there when they decided to…hurt this man. Badly. He only recently just woke up from the coma he was in. I thought he was gunna die, and this was going to be a murder charge. One of the members was arrested – his um, one of his shoe prints was on this man’s head. And he was arrested, and he gave the names of everyone else involved in exchange for a reduced sentence. And he named me.

“But…he was killed. By other gang members, before we all went on trial. Because he snitched on us. He um…he spoke out against the gang.”

Tsukishima watched him silently. For once, he didn’t say anything as Kageyama sat there, his stomach turning over itself with fright. “That night…when they started beating that man. I tried to stop them, I really did. I didn’t want to do that to him he hadn’t done anything. I just…I tried to stop them, and they hurt me, and they kicked me too. And I could just watch as they nearly…killed him. They said that if I said anything, they’d kill me. And I saw that, when they killed that other man. So I’ve said nothing. But now that man said…he could get me protection, and get me out of here.”

Tsukishima liked his lips, “Why wouldn’t you?”

“They could find me. They always could. I should just…live out my life here, and live in safety when I get out.”

“Bullshit,” Tsukishima laughed, and Kageyama looked up at him, stunned. “You’re never going to be safe. You get out in like four years, yeah? Then what? You go back to the gang – or maybe you try to leave. They’ll kill you for that, I hope you know that,” he shut his book. “Now, if you stayed with the gang, you’d be put in the same situations. It would be exactly the same as before. You won’t be safe. But what they’re offering you – it’s _invaluable_. And you would throw that away because you’re scared?” Tsukishima leaned in close. “You’re not safe. I’d hate to tell you, but you’re never safe. I mean, fucking look,” he extended his neck, showing the fading but still very visible bruises on his throat, “Oikawa would have killed me. You’re not safe in here. Heck, you could have had an aneurysm at any point. You could be murdered at any moment. Die in an accident, there are so many things that will ruin your safety. And you’re going to throw away your shot at a normal life because you’re scared? Pathetic.”

Kageyama looked down as Tsukishima tried to quell his anger. “You didn’t do anything. You don’t belong here. Do you know how many people wish they could take back what they’d done and be free again?”

“Do you?”

“I…I wish I was free. But I…I don’t regret what I did,” Tsukishima gripped his hand in the bedsheets so hard his knuckles turned white. Kageyama swallowed hard. “Right. I’m sorry. Goodnight.”

 

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi managed to find time alone that week. “I googled you,” Yamaguchi admitted. Tsukishima’s stomach dropped. “Oh.”

“I… I don’t mind. What you did,” Yamaguchi shook his head, smiling, “I mean…arson. We could work around that, right?”

“Just as long as you never make me cook for you.” Yamaguchi stopped for a moment, and then laughed. He laughed out loud, and Tsukishima felt a flutter in his stomach that he’d managed to make him laugh. “Can I ask something?” Yamaguchi asked when he stopped laughing. “About the…burns you put on yourself.” Tsukishima pulled his sleeve up a little bit. This was what he was dreading. Showing somebody else. Yamaguchi gasped the moment he saw it. He laid his cool hands on Tsukishima’s skin, running his hand over the rough burns. “Why?” Tsukishima swallowed, “For a long time it was just easier…to turn all of that in, instead of out.”

“That couldn’t last forever, though.”

“Well, no shit. I burnt down somebody’s house, Yamaguchi.” And he was laughing again, and Tsukishima couldn’t help but smile. He wanted to make him laugh like that all the time.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry this is such a short chapter despite me not updating in forever :0 I'll try and be more frequent  
> I also hav an idea abt a story for Tsukki after prison if people want to read that??  
> [tumblr](http://anri-kun.tumblr.com/)

Iwaizumi received the phone call at around midday. “Hello,” he replied, picking his phone up. He was alone in his apartment, amidst his job search. “Am I speaking to Iwaizumi Hajime?” He doesn’t recognise the voice on the end of the phone, and he frowns. “Yes, who’s asking?”

“Hello, my name is Ennoshita, I’m…I’m doing a documentary about prison life,” Iwaizumi licked his lips.

“Let me guess…you heard about Oikawa and me?”

“Well…yes.”

“I’d rather not.”

“No, wait! Hear me out, please!” Iwaizumi sighed, holding the phone. He knew he probably should just put the phone down, but he didn’t. Ennoshita sighed with relief after he realised that Iwa was still listening to him. “I’m doing a little documentary on prisoners and…Oikawa agreed to be a part of it. And well, you don’t have to research very far before you get the news about you two.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, “Do you know how many newspapers have called me wanting to get a scoop? Why should I listen to you?”

“I’m not interested in demonizing you. Everyone else does that. All of the news about Oikawa is negative, and I’m not sure it’s that simple. And you…you’re closest to him, so I would like your opinion.”

Iwaizumi bit his lip, looking around his flat helplessly. “Alright. I’ll think about it,” he admitted gently.

 

It felt odd having to apply to visit Oikawa. Usually Iwa could just pull him aside and kiss him touch him. They had sex, although he really didn’t want to admit it. He had lapsed in his professionalism, but he hadn’t bent the rules for just anyone. Oikawa was the first – the only – person he was willing to do that for. He knew he was going to get abuse from this – and in some funny way, he almost felt like he deserved it. Oikawa had taken the life of a man – a father – in what circumstances, no one really knew. Many people missed the man who Oikawa had murdered. And not many people missed Oikawa. He seemed to have a fairly small, remote family, and Oikawa never talked of his parents. Nobody seemed to miss him, nobody except Iwaizumi.

That had been the thought that had persisted the most. He often found himself awake now, in the early hours of the morning, listening to the world outside his flat, the clock ticking. Hajime would lie there in bed, thinking. Oikawa did not want to be a killer. He didn’t wake up with the aspiration of murdering, he dreamed of leading a good life. He was, until one day, a normal human being. He didn’t know a lot about Oikawa, and it was almost like it was because he just _couldn’t_ find the courage to open up. He spoke of very few moments in his life. Iwaizumi loved him very deeply, very strongly and yet he really didn’t know much about him. He knew who Oikawa was now, in the present. He had no idea if that Oikawa had existed at all, prior to the prison sentence. But he loved Oikawa for who he was now, there was no point searching for ghosts in the past anymore.

Going through searching in order to see Oikawa was difficult. He saw all of his old co-workers looking at him, watching him especially closely.

“Fucking slut.” He looked around at the guards on duty, trying to hear who had said that. They were staring back at him, glaring. Iwaizumi sighed. He couldn’t necessarily blame them. He knew he’d messed up. He knew he’d messed up badly. He gathered himself, walking in to one of the meeting rooms, sitting down at a table in the corner of the room, trying to avoid being looked at. As the prisoners filed in, Iwaizumi saw all of the people he was so used to watching over. And suddenly he felt how weird it was to be on this side of the visiting. Oikawa walked in, big grey pullover over his shirt. It was getting cold, and Iwa knew how Oikawa felt the cold in prison. “Iwa-chan,” his eyes lit up in his blank face. He looked pale, sickly.

“Have you been eating?” Iwaizumi asked. Oikawa shrugged, running a hand through his hair.

“You know they’d force me to if I didn’t….” he said bitterly.

“How is…everything?”

“Oh, you know, Tendou had me sent to the psych unit for a while. So that was fun.”

“Oikawa, I’m…I’m sorry…”

Oikawa had been admitted to a psychiatric hospital just after the conviction, and although he didn’t talk about it, Iwaizumi knew it was one of the more difficult experiences in Oikawa’s life. He also knew that the psychiatric unit of the prison wasn’t the most efficient. Or sympathetic. Or just _good_. Iwaizumi had been taught to look the other way to it’s questionable morals for years – one of the things that made it difficult for him to sleep at night.

“It’s fine.” Oikawa said quickly. It wasn’t fine. “He was going to do that to me sooner or later.”

“Oikawa I-“

“You couldn’t have done anything, Iwa-chan, it’s okay,” but his eyes were cold, firm. “Hajime…I’m going to be old when I get out. I’m going to be in my forties, maybe my fifties.”

“You’re going to be forty-nine,” Iwaizumi said shortly. He’d counted it.

“I can’t…I can’t get a job then, I can’t go back to my family…can you promise me that you’ll be there for me when and if I get out?”

“Oikawa…you can still appeal in a few years…you might not be that old.”

“But nobody believes me. Everybody thinks I murdered him for no reason.”

“Oikaw-“  
“Do you believe me, Iwa-chan?” his eyes were firm, his hands gripped into fists on the table.

Iwaizumi couldn’t lie to him. He kept his mouth shut. Oikawa smiled, defeated. “So…when I’m forty-nine… can I rely on you to help me?”

Iwaizumi licked his lips, nervous. “My family won’t touch me – they haven’t spoken to me properly for years. And…homeless shelters won’t…please, Iwaizumi,” he reached his hand across the table, and Iwa took it, Oikawa turned his hand over, tracing the pattern of the tattoo on the inside of his wrist. “I’ll do anything for you,” Iwaizumi whispered. Oikawa nodded. “I’ll…be there for me.”

“I know it’s going to be hard. And I don’t…blame you if you don’t want to be with me anymore, but please still be my friend? I have another twenty-three years of a twenty-five-year sentence. Twenty-three years without sex, can you imagine? We used to have sex once a week, let alone…two decades. So I don’t blame you, if you want to get another partner, another boyfriend… I won’t be jealous. But please still be my friend, that’s all I need.” Oikawa clung to his hand, tight, grasping. “I got approached, earlier,” Iwaizumi said, changing the subject. “From the man who’s making the documentary. He said he wants to talk to me. Would you be okay with that?”

“Of course I would be. Are you okay, Iwa-chan? Your reputation is on the line.”

“It’s already in tatters isn’t it.”

“Where are you working now?”

“I got…I got a small job in retail, for now.”

“So I guess you don’t really have a reputation anymore,” Oikawa shrugged, stroking his thumb absent-mindedly across the back of Iwaizumi’s hand. “Who else is talking to him?”

“Suga-chan is….and uh, Tobio-chan also…”

“But I thought he was just…gang related crime?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Exactly, I didn’t think he was that much of a big deal,” Oikawa rolled his eyes.

“What interviews are you all giving?”

“Well…that would ruin the fun…I guess we’ll have to find out what everybody says about each other when the documentary starts to air?”

Oikawa winked. Visitors were starting to get up and leave, and Iwaizumi got up. Oikawa watched him, leaning over the table kissing him softly. “Hey, hey, hey,” One of the guards shouted, “Wanna get even more of your privileges revoked, Oikawa?” Oikawa sighed, rolling his eyes, and moving away.

 

Iwaizumi called Ennoshita back as soon as he got into the car. “I’ll tell you about Oikawa and my relationship with him.”

“Thank you so much,” Ennoshita cheered.

“What are you discussing with Kageyama Tobio?” Iwa asked.

There was a pause. “I don’t think I’m allowed to expose that information right now, I’m sorry. Can we settle a date, for our interview? I’ll be talking to Oikawa within the next two weeks, so some time after that?” They organised the interview, Iwaizumi’s head still spinning about the whole idea of this show.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter bc I suck.  
> My health every time I think I'm the sickest I will be  
> my body's like ;) bitch u thought  
> But I mean I haven't died yet so lol I'm fine  
> My tumblr is anri-kun.tumblr.com I'm too lazy to link it rn sorry  
> This chapter sucks sorry

Ennoshita sat down on the other side of the table. The cameras was set up, his camera man sat behind him. Sugawara was fiddling with the microphone attached to the front of his shirt. He stopped, finally, and looked up, smiling at Ennoshita. “Are you ready?” Ennoshita asked.

“Can I ask you a question, before we start?” Sugawara asked. Ennoshita nodded. The camera was already rolling on both of them. So they were able to capture those candid shots of Sugawara and Ennoshita meeting and shaking hands for the first time. “Are you scared of me?” Suga asked. Ennoshita paused.

“No,” he said firmly.

“Why not?”

“Because you stabbed your victims. You don’t have anything you could stab me with. And there’s guards in here. I think I’m safe.”

“Why do you say victims?”

“What do you mean?”

“’Your victims’. They were my parents. Not just my victims.”

“Would you rather I call them your parents?”

“I suppose so.”

“Okay. Do you want to start talking about things, then? And begin with your parents?”

“My parents were pieces of shit.”

“Do you want to talk about that?”

Sugawara smiled, brushing a hand through his hair as he composed himself before beginning.

 

Sugawara Koushi grew up in relative poverty. His mother was unemployed, and his father was an unskilled worker. He was born into a family that wasn’t ready to be a family. His mother was sixteen when he was born, his father eleven years her senior. His mother didn’t know how to raise a baby properly, and, given the right partner, and the right timing, she may have been an okay mother. But she was married to his father. And that was it, really. They were bad parents. He was used to being fed last, being left alone for days at a time. He was somewhat delayed in learning, so he wasn’t good at school.

The physical abuse started for the first time after he got his first grade card back from school. And his father had stubbed his cigarette out on him as punishment. That was probably the turning point. He thought that was the way parents were supposed to discipline their children, and if the other children in his class didn’t go through that, it was because they were good children. And Koushi was a bad child. He felt shame. And even though he was older now, he still felt that shame a little bit. He knew now that it wasn’t his fault. That he didn’t deserve to be treated that way. But still. It’s hard to unlearn something that you’ve been taught for the whole of your life.

His sister was born when he was fifteen. And he felt much more like her father, then her brother. He felt a need to protect her. He wanted to give her the chance in life that he had never been able to get. He was the one who raised her. And he tried to raise her away from his parents as much as he could. He dropped out soon after, to look after her. He managed to shield her from a lot of the treatment he faced. And as she grew, he knew he couldn’t keep her there forever. He couldn’t continue to protect her and keep her in the same house as his parents. So he made a plan – a plan to get another flat, just a small one – and jobs. He would need some savings in order to get this plan together properly, but it was feasible. He was going to get her out of that mess.

He had a purpose, and he felt proud of himself. She was a beautiful, talented little girl. Her pre-school teachers were always saying how smart she was already – she was doing so well. He was going to keep her that way. Make sure she was in school – he would fund anything she wanted to do outside of school – dancing, sports, languages, anything. He was going to make things right for her. So he started working. He worked any job he could, no matter how hard, or tedious it was. Any hours, he would do for her.

He should have known that the plan was too perfect. Koushi was an unintelligent, unskilled high school dropout. He didn’t know how to raise a child. He didn’t know how to do anything. He was an idiot. He shouldn’t have left her alone in the house. He shouldn’t have thought it was okay to work so long without checking in. When he came in late in the evening after a long hard cleaning shift, the house was quiet. The TV was on, his father was sat there, surrounded by cans of drink. His mum was in bed. His sister was in their room. She was cowering in the corner, her arms over her face. His stomach dropped. “Hiro…Hiro…what’s wrong?” he asked, dropping his bag, running over to her. He took her hands gently away from her face. She was sobbing. There was a big red mark on her cheek. “Mum hit me.” He felt cold at that.

“Why?”

“Because I was too loud…”

She wasn’t too loud. She was…for fucks sake she was four years old. She was a little girl. Little girls are loud sometimes. He bit his lip. It had been ruined. He’d tried so hard to keep her away from this. He hid his own scarring and bruising to make her think that everything was okay, that their family was _normal_. He couldn’t give her that. He couldn’t. He’d failed at the one thing he thought he could do. He couldn’t keep her safe.

His parents had ruined everything. Mahiro was the only good thing they had ever given him in his life, and they’d done this to her. He wasn’t going to let them do that to her. She was too good for that. He stood up. Unsure of what he was going to do. He left her there in the corner, marching through into his parent’s bedroom. “How dare you?!” he yelled, his mother waking with a start. “Why did you do that to her?”

“What?” his mother said sleepily.

“You hit Mahiro! You hit a little girl!”

“She was being loud. I have a headache, so I shut her up. Now piss off, Koushi.”

“No.”

She paused. “No?”

“You can’t hit her.”

“Why not?”

“She doesn’t deserve this!”

“I’m sick, Koushi. I have a headache now fuck off.”

“You didn’t fuck off when I told you to stop!” he said, his voice cracking despite everything. “I asked you to stop when you were hurting me and you never did! Why should I stop for you?”

“Because I’m your _mother_!”

“Koushi!” his father called from downstairs, “Are you annoying your mother?”

“Who fucking cares if I am? She doesn’t deserve respect!” he said. His mother sat in shock, before getting out of bed. Koushi felt a tiny bit of fear, then, and he turned and fled from the room, and down the stairs. His father caught him at the bottom of the stairs, and knocked him sideways, into the kitchen. Koushi hit himself on the side of the table, a gash opening up on his forehead. His mother was there too, and the two of them were standing over him.

_It's now or never._

That was his only thought. It’s now or never. He’d always thought he’d like to kill his parents. Just to be able to get away from this. Now was his chance. It’s now or never. He grabbed one of the plates that was stacked up on the kitchen table, and flung it as hard as he could. It missed his parents, but it gave him his chance to get up. He grabbed one of the knives from the block, holding it out. His parents took a step back. His mother looked scared, but his father didn’t. He didn’t think he could do it. He stabbed his mother first. Only in the hand – she’d put one up to try and defend herself. His father shoved him, and Koushi slashed back with the knife. He was in control. For the first time in his life he was the one with the control. He could do what he wanted with them.

Maybe that was how he ended up stabbing them 157 times. All the pent-up rage and anger from his life up until that point had come to the surface. He lost himself for a full forty minutes. He came to eventually, straddled over his father’s body, his face barely recognisable to him anymore, and he heard sniffling from the corner.

Mahiro was sat there, her hands over her mouth, as she sobbed. He dropped the knife.

“Hiro…” he said, standing up. “It’s okay, alright... it’s okay…” he didn’t know whether to approach her, or whether to stay. “Do you trust me?”

She was watching him, completely shaking. “They…mum and dad…” she stammered, staring behind him.

“I’m sorry. Mahiro.” He just stood there, keeping his distance from her. He was covered in blood. He didn’t want to touch her. He didn’t want to taint her. So he stood there, watching her crying. The neighbours wouldn’t call the police, they were used to that sort of commotion. He turned around, looking at the mess. “They deserved it,” he heard her small voice say. “They were bad.”

“Do you think I’m bad?” Koushi said, looking back at her. She looked at him, her little mouth quivering. She shook her head. “This…this is bad, Mahiro.”

She nodded. There was silence. “What do we do now?” she asked. Koushi paused. What did they do now? They could run. But they would be caught. Mahiro wouldn’t be able to go to school if he did that. He had to think about this. “Can you wait for me. I need to take a shower, and change clothes.” He ushered her out of the room, shutting the kitchen door firmly behind him. Mahiro got her blanket from her room, and she made herself a little nest on the sofa, and her brother turned the TV onto cartoons for her. He stood in the doorway for a moment. Everything felt so normal. But it wasn’t. He was covered in blood – the blood of his parents. Behind the kitchen door was a mess.

He thought for a long time. It was a couple of hours before he remerged downstairs in a fresh set of clothes. But he’d decided what he was going to do now. He knew. “Mahiro,” he said, “Do you want to go get something to eat?” she looked at him, and after a moment she nodded. He left her in the living room as she put her little coat on, and he went back into the kitchen, stepping over his mother in order to get money. And then they left the house. They went to McDonalds for dinner, and Mahiro talked about her day at pre-school and her friends, and Koushi talked about work. They talked about everything but the corpses on their kitchen floor. Mahiro was sleepy once she’d finished eating. “It’s late, isn’t it?” Koushi said, “But we have somewhere else to go, so you’re gunna have to stay awake for a little bit, okay?”

“Mkay…” she said sleepily, taking his hand.

And they walked again, until they finally came to the police station. “What are we doing here?” Mahiro asked.

“I’ve done something bad. And so I gotta hand myself in now.”

“But they don’t know!”

“They will know. I’m doing this for you. You can’t stay with me, you have to go to school and you have to learn and grow up to be a good person, do you understand?”

“No…” she said, starting to cry.

“You’ll be okay,” he said pulling her in for a hug.

“I don’t want you to go!” she yelled.

“I have to, I’m sorry.” He walked in, and his sister was clinging to him, sobbing. This was the hardest thing he had to do. With some effort he put Mahiro on one of the seats, and was able to walk towards the front desk.

“I have to report a murder.”

The man on the front desk looked up. “I’m sorry?”

“I have to report a murder,” Koushi said again.

The man looked at him again. “I’ve killed my parents. I came to hand myself in.”

The man shot up, calling others on his radio, and soon Koushi was being led away. “I need somebody to look after my little sister – she has nursery tomorrow, she has to go to sleep and have someone to take her.” That was the first thing he said when he was led into the interview room. “We’ll get somebody to look after her, don’t worry,” the officer said, pulling out her own chair. “Now…we need to talk. You have admitted to murdering your parents. We need to confirm that.”

“I can give you my address. They’re on the kitchen floor. The first door on the right when you come in,” Koushi said plainly. There was nothing he could hide anymore. “Right. You might be sat here for a while. Do you want anything?”

“Tea, maybe. Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay.”

He thought that this was really the first time anyone was nice to him. And that was odd. The police, upon his arrest for two murders, were nicer to him then his own parents were.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's an incredibly short chapter and I know y'all deserve more after me being away for so long. I'm sorry, please forgive me.  
> I'm actually like low-key (it's not lowkey Im not even guna lie) obsessed with Overwatch rn. My mains are Mei, Reaper and D.Va!  
> I need to watch s3 of Haikyuu I'm a terrible person I've let myself slip ;_;  
> I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long!  
> [tumblr](http://anri-kun.tumblr.com/)

It was only a few weeks prior to the release of the documentary series that things began changing for Kageyama. He had frequent visits with his legal team – Ennoshita followed through with his promise, and paid for the team. He was pulled out of most prison activities, busy with his legal case.

The other inmates were beginning to get jealous.

“Why does _he_ get legal representation? Why do people believe him?” Oikawa murmured, staring out of the window during their art class. Kageyama was sat at the front of the class, speaking earnestly to Hinata again. “Well, I suppose,” Suga said, cracking his knuckles, “Because he didn’t do what they said he did.” Suga and Oikawa looked at each other. Suga smiling softly. “Damn,” Oikawa said, “If only I hadn’t stabbed that one guy, maybe I’d be out of here.”

Suga shrugged, “I wouldn’t undo what I did, even if it meant freedom.” There was a silence around the group. Kuro smirked nervously. “Shit Sugawara, do you really mean that?” he asked. Suga began tapping on the desk, smiling vacantly at them. “Of course I do.”

Tsukishima shifted in his seat, looking down at his own desk. Things hadn’t been going well recently. He missed Yamaguchi a lot. Not being able to speak freely with him, or touch him. They’d only managed to meet up once or twice in the coming months. The security was still tight. He didn’t realise how much he missed him, until he was facing this complete separation. He had been thinking, too. About what he had done. Kageyama had made an honest mistake – he played no part in the violent assault he had been charged with. He was a good person. And that reminded Kei of how much of a bad person he was. And that was getting harder to ignore.

The bell rang, and everyone filed out of the room. “Kageyama…could you…hang back.” Hinata’s voice was shaking, and Kageyama looked back, hesitating by the door. Hinata was wringing his hands – he looked nervous, something he usually wasn’t. “Yes?” Kageyama asked, blinking owlishly at him.

“I heard your retrial is coming up soon. You’re gunna be getting out of prison.”

“Yeah…” Kageyama said airily.

“What’s going to happen to you after that?”

He bit his lip, “The police said that I’d have to go into protection…in case members of my gang find me again.”

Hinata felt his stomach drop. That hadn’t been the answer he’d wanted. “So…when you’re gone…you’re gone?” he asked meekly. Kageyama nodded slowly. Hinata looked down. “I…I just thought maybe y’know, when you were out you might wanna go out…”

Kageyama raised his eyebrows, but other than that, he betrayed no sign of anything. Hinata wrung his hands on the edge of his shirt. “There’s no reason why we couldn’t.”

“But you just sai-“

“You could…visit me, maybe? I don’t know. I’m hiding from my gang, but I don’t think they’d look very hard. You could…visit.”

It was a weak hope. They both knew that, but neither decided to admit it. “Well,” Hinata leaned forward, kissing Kageyama on the cheek. The prisoner stood still, not saying anything. Hinata bit his lip. “I um…thank you,” Kageyama murmured, leaning down to kiss Hinata on the cheek. The two of them stood there, flushed red. There was a knock at the door, and Yamaguchi leaned in. “Uh, Kageyama – you need to head to the dining hall now,” he said, clearly sensing the mood between the two of them. The black-haired man startled, flashing Hinata a brief and stiff smile, before he left the room.

Yamaguchi smiled at Hinata, hesitating in the doorway. “You alright there?”

Hinata jumped, trying to cover his face. The place Kageyama had kissed was burning. Yamaguchi shut the door, leaning on the edge of the table, looking at him knowingly. “Ah, don’t you have to – supervise or-“

“No, shift change, I’m off-duty now,” he crossed his arms, looking expectantly at Hinata. The teacher heaved in a breath. “I’m going to miss him…” he murmured. Yamaguchi nodded, listening to him intently. “I wish I’d been able to talk to him properly before, and now I have…he’s going to be leaving. I just…it’s over, isn’t it?” he smiled sadly. Yamaguchi shrugged, “I wouldn’t be so sure about it. Don’t give up hope on that just yet.” Hinata nodded firmly, slapping his face to try and pull himself together. “So,” he said, trying to move away from the topic of him and Kageyama. “What about you and…your boyfriend.”

Yamaguchi looked down. “I don’t know,” he said truthfully. “We talked but…I haven’t been able to speak to him recently…and he’s been looking so distant.” He licked his lips, looking helplessly down at the floor. “And I’m still so confused about all of this,”

“I know, I’m-“

“You don’t, though,” Yamaguchi said quietly. “Kageyama didn’t _do_ anything. He’s innocent. Tsukishima…Kei. He’s not. He’s committed a crime, and he fully admits that. The man I love has hurt people, Hinata. That’s so conflicting. I know that…that he’s bad. And everything is telling me that I shouldn’t love him.”

“But he’s still a person,” Hinata said, “People aren’t just good or bad. People have their reasons for what they’ve done.”

Yamaguchi paused and then smiled, “Do you want me to walk you out?”

 

The trial date loomed ahead of the prison, and the days counted down. Soon enough, they were saying goodbye to Kageyama. The prisoners threw a little haphazard party – the biggest one the guards would afford them. There was some leeway given for Kageyama, since he was in fact a completely innocent man who was wrongly imprisoned. There were a lot of words spoken – mostly curse words on Oikawa’s behalf, as he bitterly wished Kageyama an awful life outside the prison walls. Oikawa then quietened down, under the threat of being removed from the party entirely. Sugawara wished him a happy life as a free man, as did many of the other prisoners. “It’s gunna be lonely. Without you in my cell.”

Kageyama shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry, you’ll probably have a new one in no time.”

“Well, they won’t be anything like you, that’s for sure.” Kei had no idea whether that was a compliment or not. Kageyama had his faults and his high points, just like any cell mate. He was a neutral.

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi finally managed to find time to sneak away without being spotted by anybody else. “I missed you,” Yamaguchi said earnestly, holding tight to him. Kei ran his hands through his lover’s hair silently. He didn’t know what to say. Normally a comment like that would make his heart flutter, but it just opened a feeling of a trapdoor opening underneath him. He felt guilty. Something he hadn’t felt in a little while. Yamaguchi looked up at him, sensing that something was wrong. Tsukishima put it from his mind, leaning down to kiss him.

That night Tsukishima couldn’t sleep. His mind was racing. Every time he tried to shut off his brain, everything got louder.

“Kageyama,” he whispered.

After a moment, his cellmate replied. “What?”

“Do you have a lighter?”

There was once again, another moment of silence, before Kageyama began slapping around on the side of his desk. The sound of something sliding across the floor came, and Tsukishima fumbled as he tried to find it. His fingers brushed the cool metal handle, and he picked it up. He crouched in his corner, clicking it. The flame emerged, and Tsukishima found himself gasping. He missed the flame. He missed fire. He’d been trying to deny it for so long, he had no idea why.

“What’re you doing?” Kageyama asked, leaning up on his bed. Kei licked his lips.

“Fuck off.”

Kageyama obeyed, rolling over in bed, choosing to ignore him.

Would he have felt safe, knowing that he was sleeping next to a convicted arsonist? Would he have given him the lighter so freely had he known? Tsukishima rolled up his sleeve, biting his lip as he lowered the flame to his forearm.

 

Kageyama left for his trial the next morning. He dressed in a suit – he looked like an entirely different person now, somebody that was unrecognisable. Sugawara hugged him tightly, wishing him off like a parent taking their child to school.

It wasn’t until a break in court proceedings, when he decided to go out for a cigarette, that he noticed that he’d left the lighter at the prison.


	17. Chapter 17

Hey kids. Im super sorry it's been a YEAR since I came back to this.

I can't finish it, I'm really fucking sorry but I can't write.

My illness got worse. I have schizophrenia lmao, who knew?

I thought I'd give you some answers for where this was gunna go.

Maybe someone would like to rewrite it, or finish it?

Basically:  
  


Tsukki starts a fire in the prison in an attempt to die. It doesn't work. He then, while he's being interviewed, he admits that the reason he burnt down his Tutor's house was bc he was being abused by him, but bc he burned the house down all evidence was lost, so :')

Kageyama won his trial, ended up in WitPro. Hinata and him get together.

Oikawa's story is aired, and a witness steps forward corroborating his claims. Appealed. His sentence is shortened. Iwa waits for him.

Tsukki's parents apologise to him, and they get a lawyer to look into the fact that maybe his Tutor was abusing him.

Akaashi gets out, but he's clean. Him and Bokuto are together forever.

Yamaguchi begins to look after Tsukki's dog. Yama also quits his job at the prison before he gets caught, so he can be with him honestly. 

When Tsukki gets out, he moves in with Yama and Yachi, the end!!!

I'm really really sorry. You guys deserve more.

**Author's Note:**

> Im sorry


End file.
